And Then There Were Three
by einfach mich
Summary: He's not human, like I am - he's a hunter. A killer with skin like marble, that glitters like diamonds in the sunlight. He is most beautiful creature I've ever seen, and the most deadly. AU Complete.
1. Chapter 1

James isn't my maker, not yet. I hope that someday I'll be strong enough. That I can prove he should make me hard and beautiful, like him. He's not human, like I am - he's a hunter. A killer with skin like marble, that glitters like diamonds in the sunlight. He is most beautiful creature I've ever seen, and the most deadly.

He walks through the world, and it doesn't touch him, all the dirt, all the pain. It's a buzzing insect that he bats away, without a second thought. I envy his indifference.

He tells me that I have potential and I cling to that, when I'm cold and lonely. When he leaves me to walk alone in the world, while he hunts. In the dark hours while I await his return, I hold onto the hope that I will be at his side to hunt, one day. Someday soon.

I wait in an all-night laundromat, because it's Tuesday and that's the schedule I keep, no matter which city we're in. I mark time by the human calendar, it comforts me and helps me countdown to my death, and rebirth.

I turn my attention from the spiraling socks and underwear to the other occupants. Washed out faces and droopy eyes meet mine, and I move on. Everyone here doesn't belong, not like I do. They are tired of night. I've been waiting for it like an anxious lover, since yesterday's sunrise. As I pass my little judgments on each person, I come to stop at the sight of sunglasses and blood red lips. A large pink bubble blooms from between those luscious, full lips and then ruptures with a small pop. She retracts the limp pink balloon of gum back between the red shining lips and I lick my own.

She puts a cigarette to her lips and takes in a long breath of smoke before pulling it away and returning her eyes to a beaten copy of The Fountainhead. I groan a little too loud and see her eyes fix on me. An eyebrow raises as smoke snakes from her mouth in lazy stream.

She doesn't say anything, just stands up and walks over to me. The sharp click of her heels on the cement seems to echo off the back of my skull. She settles into the hard plastic seat next to me as a cloud of cheap perfume assaults my nose. It's fruity and flowery, overpowering with its sweetness. I tilt my head from side to side, trying to work out the tension her presence is causing.

The book is still open in her hand, I can see some drawings, stick figures arranged in different sexual positions in the margins of the pages. It strikes me as charming, and I smile.

"You a fan?" She snaps her gum and tips the ashes from her cigarette onto my shoe, like a challenge. I shake my head, still smiling. "Yeah, me either." Her beautiful lips twist in a sneer as she closes the book and tosses it onto the seat on the other side of her. "It makes me laugh," she says with a shrug as her eyes skim over me. I shift, uncomfortable with her proximity. I haven't talked to another human in so long, too long. I don't know what to say, as she smirks at me.

"I'm Bella." She flashes her white teeth at me and holds out her small hand. I stare at the bright red nails, noting that their color doesn't match her lipstick, but I don't touch her. She watches me closely as she pulls her hand back and shifts, angling her body towards me. "Do I make you nervous?" She looks like she wants me to say yes, but I shake my head, my mouth itching in one corner. Bella looks disappointed and I suddenly move my hand, before I realizing I'm doing it. I hook a finger on the corner of her glasses and slowly slide them from her face. She watches me closely, not saying a word.

Seeing her face unbroken by the dark line of the glasses, stirs something in me. I am frozen as I watch her mouth open slightly, those gaudy lips making a small "o." I think of James and drop the sunglasses. They make a soft clack as they hit the floor and I'm moving towards the door, my eyes stinging with something I don't quite understand.

"Where are you going?" she calls after me, but I don't answer. I can't answer.

* * *

Edward is running again, fucking coward. I'm getting so tired of his games, of his heartache, his weakness. So frail and sensitive, so... human. I am far too tolerant of these episodes. I watch him struggle and flail like an bug on its back and my venom rises like bile in the back of my throat.

He can't even handle the simple matter of meeting a woman. Not that this Bella is just any woman. I watch her as she picks up her sunglasses and slides them back into place. Pretty little Bella and her little plastic armor. I lick my lips, 'cause I know that I am going to break that armor and that little girl, but not tonight. Tonight, I need to feed. I turn to the dark face of the city, taking in its scent, the heady boutique making me hard. I'll leave Edward to his moping and search for prey.

* * *

**Author's note: **

**Many thanks to MsKathy, for...everything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **

**I am forever in MsKathy's debt for being my beta. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

My used stilettos pinch my toes as I shift from foot to foot, while the stink of _patchouli_ and BO assault my nose. The lumbering mass of angry woman before me slaps down a beat up copy of The Feminine Mystique. I recognize this particular copy by the dog-eared cover and smother the urge to snort with a polite smile.

"Your first time reading this?" I ask in my faux cheery work voice, the one that makes me gag if I try to use to when I'm not being paid. Her dull, blue eyes raise to meet mine and she gives me a yellow smile. I immediately regret engaging her in any sort of communication. I should remember Jacob's advice to just keep my head low and ignore the fact that other people exist, but part of me (that must come from my batshit mother), always wants to try to connect with someone.

"Naw. I reread it religiously and try to collect old editions whenever I find them." She looks so hopeful and happy. I'm almost sad, knowing how she's going to react when she sees the dirty limericks I've scrawled all over the margins of the book.

_There once was a fellow McSweeny  
Who spilled some gin on his weenie  
Just to be couth  
He added vermouth  
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini_

"Enjoy the book," I tell her. My favorite limerick runs through my head while I ring up her purchase. My mundane day is brightened a little as I think about the gift wrapped turd she's joyfully clutching in her chubby hands as she bounces out of the store. I'm a cunt, but it's kind of how I get by in the shitfest I call my life.

I turn my back to the counter to check the clock - only a half hour left to go. I hate this job, but it pays the rent and I make my own hours. My lazy, stoner boss lets make my own schedule, since I've got a connection for weed from the Rez. Which reminds me, I need to call Jacob. I grab the worn and cracked leopard print leather bowling bag that I'm using as a purse this week, or until it falls apart, and pull out my cell phone.

**Dogboy, need a hook up. You comin stateside soon?**

I dump the phone on the counter as I glance at the clock again, like it's going to move faster if I watch it. My phone vibrates and I smile as I pick it up.

**By your way in a week, Butthole.**

I laugh and type in my response.

**See ya then, Shitstain.**

I hit send, hoping he likes the new putdown I picked up from the street kids that hang outside the store.

Jake never fails to make me smile, no matter how shit things are, he's got some kind of gift or something. Other than being a shapeshfter. I got over the joy and wonder of that after he shifted into a giant wolf, while inside my VW bug and tore it to pieces.

That happened after my dad's funeral. I was really fucked up and thought that if I finally gave into Jacob, that I might feel right or better, some how. The whole situation was going fairly well until he went apeshit and transformed right on top of me. At least we hadn't actually "gotten down to business," if you know what I mean. I don't think I'd have recovered from something as fucked up as that. He nearly killed me, as it was. I have sick scar running from my hip to just under my right breast, and am down a kidney. If watching my father battle cancer hadn't put me off of close human contact, I think that little episode with Jake pretty much sealed the deal.

I realize that I'm rubbing my scar and shake myself a little. I stare out the window at the masses of useless shit walking past the book store and think about my dad. Charlie hated people almost as much as I do. He did love his limericks, though. I still have an old, stained copy of one of his 101 Dirty Limericks. I read it sometimes when I feel morose or I'm drunk.

_There once was a fellow O'Doole  
Who found little red spots on his tool  
His Doctor a cynic  
said Get out of me clinic,  
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!_

That was Charlie's favorite. He would rattle it off while the morphine did its work, or when the nurses bathed him, and even when I tried to stuff food into his slack jawed mouth. When I was child, I'd witnessed my father take down a drunken asshole outside of Chuck's diner with one punch to the throat. Charlie Swan was just about as badass as they came, but in the end, death turns gold into shit. My father died a ninety pound babbling idiot, while I watched, and my mother never visited once. Instead, she called me every day after my father's death to complain that I was being a bad daughter because I wouldn't visit her and her new husband in sunny Florida.

It's no surprise that I hate the world. It has had its boot in my ass for years.


	3. Chapter 3

The lights of the club crawl over my skin like eager insects. I swim through the sea of food, clad in leather, sweat and pretense. I taste the air, drinking it in. Delicious. I rub myself over every body I pass, because I can.

"Hey." She's blond, glitter covered, and way too easy. As she takes in the sight of me, her face shifts, muscles pulling her expression from anger to ecstasy. Mmm... they are so perfect in their simplicity, in their gullibility. I smile at my appetizer and she presses her flesh to me, erasing all doubt.

Hunger sets my throat on fire as I answer her invitation by drumming a beat with my hips and she licks my skin.

We move our party out of the club, through a backdoor, leaving the thumping chaos for the cool quiet embrace of the city. I love her. The city, not the chattel chewing on my ear. The city, she's my home, whether she's in Europe, America, the Middle East, the city is still my place. I'm a hunter and she's my jungle, my mother, and lover.

"What's your name?" the lamb bleats against my mouth, and I try to not sneer, not yet. A loud crash startles her and draws my attention to a commotion in the alley. A whimper of pain, a violent growl, and the smell of blood draws me like a siren's song.

"Hey, wait!" The fly pulls at my arm. I pull free.

"Fuck off!" I look at her through black eyes and she doesn't hesitate, just turns and runs the opposite direction. I shouldn't have shown her, but she's not my concern anymore.

"Please..." I hear a whispered plea and start to hunt for its origin. Rats squeak as they run through the piles of garbage littering the ground. I kick them out the way as I continue on, deeper into the alley.

"Fucking bitch." I hear his gruff hiss, then the dull thud of metal hitting flesh, just as I round the corner. She's sprawled at an awkward angle beneath him, her face a mask of horror as he struggles with his pants. I see the glimmer of the street lamps glint off the barrel of the gun and smile. A club snack is always nice, but if I'm honest, I prefer my food with a little more flavor.

"Is this strictly a party of two?" I ask my dinner, and he looks up as his pants fall to his ankles.

"Get the fuck out of here!" The would-be predator whines as he waves his little pistol at me. It's almost charming, humorous even.

"Help!" The victims screams, drawing my food's attention.

So predictable.

I'm on him before he can even point his weapon at her, my teeth tearing away the flesh of his throat and covering his screaming victim in a shower of blood.

* * *

I clutch the small bag of panties and bed sheets to my chest as I make the short walk to the laundromat. I don't really need to do my wash, but I've been finding excuses to come down here just about every night. My old excuse was because I couldn't sleep, which I've struggled with since Charlie died.

I pull the door open and am assaulted with the overpowering scent of mountain breeze. I hate fabric softeners. I wrinkle my nose and dump my clothes into the nearest empty machine. Putting a new cigarette in my mouth, I stuff my pack into the pocket of my patchwork rabbit fur jacket that I scored at Goodwill for a dollar. I dig around in my pocket, searching for change. I should have just enough to buy laundry soap and still have enough to wash and dry. I make my way to the dispenser, pulling out a handful of change and begin to count.

"What have we here?"

A deep voice stops me and I turn my head to look at the source.

He's leaning back, arms stretched across the backrest of the seats on either side. His feet are stretched out in front of him. His outfit makes me think of an old sixties rock star, whose name escapes me at the moment. He's wearing skin tight leather pants, an open leather jacket, no shirt, and he's smirking at me.

"Shouldn't that be my question?" I smile as he stands up. He moves in close and I hear a metallic clink. The lighter sparks to life just below the tip of my cigarette and I instinctively inhale to light it.

"The name's James," he says as he flicks the lighter closed.

* * *

**Author's note: **

**At this point I should just have MsKathy's baby. There's really now other way I could come even close to repaying for everything she's done for me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **

**MsKathy, you are my life now.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.

* * *

**

Mornings are never a welcome guest. I stumble into the empty kitchen, taking the cereal box down and making a weak attempt at breakfast. I go through the process of pouring a bowl of Lucky Charms and sit down at the beat up folding table I found behind a liquor store a few months ago. I stare at the happy marshmallows as they swim through the slightly sour milk and my spoon stays on the table. I've not slept, because James brought home a "snack," as he likes to call them. It's against the rules that we agreed on, but James was never one to follow rules.

They raised holy hell last night and made it hard for me to get anything resembling rest.

"Morning, sunshine!" James chimes as he waltzes into the kitchen, wearing a pair of my boxers.

"Morning," I say with a sigh as he sidles up behind me, his chilled arms wrapping around my neck.

"You going to eat that?" he asks with a disapproving sniff. The sweet perfume of his breath washes over me and I close my eyes as I nod. My appetite disappears as he rubs the smooth, hard edge of his chin across my cheek. "It looks like shit. You should eat something with more... protein," he says, his breath tickling my ear, and I flinch away. I hate it when he taunts me.

"Get off me," I sneer as I jerk free of him. He lets me go, that's the only reason I'm able to escape. He chuckles at my temper as he saunters over to the sink and turns on the faucet.

"Speaking of protein, I've got some fresh meat in the bed," he says as he leans down to splash water over his head. It streams down his chest and back in thin, glittering rivers that splatter across the dirty tile floor. If there was any doubt he'd had sex, this ritual of washing the human scent from his skin is confirmation.

"You know I hate it when you bring them home." I groan as I tear my eyes from him and stand up from the table, striding over to the broom closet to get the cleaning supplies.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Martha. She's still alive," he says as he shakes his head, sprinkling the entire kitchen, and me, with shower of ice cold water. I don't flinch or complain, because I'm too busy staring at him as the sickening meaning of his words sinks into my empty stomach. James smiles wide at the sight of my horror and chuckles. "I like the way you think, but no." He quickly pushes my boxers down his legs, pulling them off to use them as a makeshift towel to remove the remaining water from his hair.

"Alive?" I ask, a new shock thrilling through me - this has never happened before. James likes to have sex with humans, but he usually kills them after.

"Yep, and one hell of a lay." James nods as he crosses the kitchen to the basement door, wrenching it open, the rusted hinges squealing in protest. "Now be a dear and kick her out. I've got work to do," he says with a wink, and tosses my boxers into my face before slamming the door behind himself.

I pull the cotton off my face and stare down the hallway at the open doorway of James' room. I struggle with what to say as my feet carry me the short distance. I'm not good in these types of situations, being around other humans makes me uncomfortable and my head ache. I feel awkward and thoroughly unprepared when I finally reach the doorway and peer inside.

She's sprawled across the bed, the off-white sheets loosely draped over her naked body. Her pale pink skin practically glows in the diffused sunlight streaming through the dirty linen curtains. I trace the soft curves of her body with my eyes, catching sight of a jagged scar running the length of her torso from her hip to just beneath the plump underside of her breast. I continue to draw my eyes up her body, but her face is obscured by the tangled mass of her dark hair. As I sigh and wonder how I should attempt to wake her, she shifts to her side, rolling toward me. As she pushes her hair from her face, I freeze.

"Ouch, cramp!" she shrieks and crumples into a tight ball, falling to the floor. I rush to her side, my eyes wide drinking in the sight of her, but fear keeps me from touching her beautiful exposed flesh.

"Are you alright?" My voice is hoarse as I lean over her prone form. She nods and groans while rubbing the muscle of her calf furiously.

"Bella." I say her name in a long sigh as those same dark eyes that startled me that only a few nights ago, rise up to meet mine to mesmerize me.

"Oh, ah… hey," she says in a small voice, her face flushed as she gives me a shy smile. Her lips are luscious even without make-up, making my mouth water to taste her and touch her naked skin. My body tenses at the sight and smells, the familiar perfume overpowering me. I tremble, causing a single glimmering drop of water to fall from my hair. It drops onto her cheek and slides down to the corner of her mouth. She shivers and giggles at the contact.

"Why are you wet?" she asks, and I stiffen as I remember James splattering me with water. I sit back on my heels as confusion starts to overtake her gorgeous face. I look past her to take in the disheveled condition of James' bed, remembering the sounds that kept me up last night.

How did he find her? Why did he bring her back here? Relief at the knowledge that he hadn't killed her is quickly overridden with bitterness that she was in his bed. That she smells like him. I can no longer stand being in the room.

"You can't stay here." I stand up and head to the door.

"What?" Bella asks in a startled voice. "Wait, where are you going?"

She calls after me, but I don't stop walking until I'm safely behind the locked door of my room. I walk over to my bench, placing my forehead on the cool wood of the piano cover, and close my eyes.

The loud slam of the front door heralds her departure, as regret stings my eyes. I shouldn't have been so rude, but I'm too weak and James is far too strong. I hope that my callous behavior will keep her away from both of us. I've chosen my path and it leads to death. That's all she'll find if she returns here.

As I say a silent prayer that she won't return, a deep thump vibrates the floor beneath my feet, jarring me from my thoughts. James wants me to play. It helps him work. I sigh as I lift up the cover and let it slide back into the body of the piano with a muffled clunk. I stroke the keys for just a brief second, imagining that they're pale pink skin, and a ghost of a shudder travels through me.

The floor thumps again. I sigh and begin to play.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **

**Thank you MsKathy for putting up with my bi-polar antics. You are more than I deserve. **

**Also, thanks to Frenchbeanz for helping me out despite the late hour. I owe you some hardcore smuty slash in the near future.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.

* * *

**

That night at the Laundromat, I don't know what came over me. Wait, scratch that, I do - there's just something so utterly irresistible about James. His smile, the way he moves, and even how he talks, when he talks, is overpowering. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm drunk. Yeah, drunk on James. It sounded nice, except I do really stupid shit when I'm drunk.

We barely exchanged a handful of words before he had me up against the wall of the Laundromat. In seconds, my panties were around my ankles, as his cold fingers made me come in a shuddering wail. We were lucky the place was pretty dead. Not that I really cared.

"Damn, woman." James shook his head and began to lick the fingers he'd just pulled out of me. His eyes were fixed on me as I slid down the wall to stand on my shaking legs. I tried to quiet my panting while I stared at his tongue, twisting and sliding over his wet fingers. "Now, that is what I call finger licking good." James growled lowly as he wound his arm around my waist.

"Damn straight." I laughed, still a little breathless, as my heart tried to jump out of my throat. I swear, I was close to passing out, but I was doing my best to not show it.

"Let's get the fuck out of here." He chuckled as he pulled me to the exit. I could smell myself on his sweet breath, and just like that, I was ready for round two.

I let him drag me away, leaving my laundry for the lost and found, without a second thought. I don't know why I went with him. When I think about it now, it was pretty fucking stupid. The whole fucking thing was insane, but what in my life hasn't been utterly fucked?

James kept kissing and touching me, overriding my brain as he dragged me to the worst part of town. I didn't have the time or brainpower to really think about how bad I'd fucked up until we arrived at his rundown old rambler. Rational thought and a sense of foreboding tickled my spine as I took in the peeling and bubbling paint on the exterior of the house.

"What a fucking dump," I mumbled, starting to wonder how I could back out without losing face. James laughed at my comment and wrenched the front door open. The place smelled musty and abandoned, but as he pulled me down the dark hallway, he insisted that he owned and lived in it.

"Finally!" he shouted. He slammed the door to his bedroom and turned to pick me up.

"Jesus," I yelped as he tossed me onto the bed. The soft sheets curled in around me, smelling clean and sweet, like him. I was too busy pushing them off me to think of anything else to say or do, though I knew I should do something.

"Not by a long shot, Baby." James grinned. His skin was very pale in the light coming from the dirty bulb, dangled from the ceiling. His eyes were so dark, almost like they didn't have irises. Something about the way he looked at me, as if he wanted to eat me, made me shudder with fear, even as it made me wet.

"Nervous?" James' teeth gleamed, almost as brightly as his skin. I shook my head, trying to deny the little shivers that were crawling down my spine at the sight of him. Something itched at the back of mind, like déjà vu, like I was missing something important. James slid his tongue across his bottom lip. My brain was screaming at me to get the fuck out of Dodge, as he slid his leather jacket off his shoulders. It dropped to the floor with a heavy thud and made me jump just a little. I guessed that James seemed to like my reaction, from the way his smiled widened.

"You're a terrible liar," he sighed, as he kicked off his boots. The sight of his bare feet made him seem stronger, dangerous.

"Are you going to pose all night?" I asked.

I slid down to the edge of the bed, trying my best to gather my dignity. Despite the fact that just looking at him was getting me close to coming and I was ready to do anything to get him to touch me, I was still able to salvage a little dignity.

Suddenly, he was on his knees in front of me. His movement startled me, making me jerk back, but he caught my arms and pulled me to him.

"You're shaking." James leaned into me. His dark eyes were even more unnerving close up.

"You're freezing!" I gasped as the cool skin of his chest pressed against my bare knees.

"I thought were tougher than this, Bella." He sighed, as he wedged himself between my legs, prying them apart, and pushing my skirt up my thighs.

"I thought you were going to fuck me," I managed to choke out. He started to run his hands up my legs and slid them under my ass.

"You can do better than that." His sweet breath brushed my face in short bursts, just before he kissed me. Ice cold pins prickled along my lips as his hard, smooth mouth pressed against mine and I moaned. I tried to lean forward, opening my mouth to him, but he quickly pulled back. Before I could protest, James gripped my hips, and lifted my ass off the bed. I grunted as my head slammed back into the mattress. He pressed the backs of my thighs flush to his chest as he whistled softly. I shifted my head on the mattress, craning my neck to see him.

"You look good enough to eat," James said with a sigh. He stared down at me and licked his lips.

"What the fuck are you waiting for?" I groaned in frustration, and didn't even bother to wonder where the hell my underwear had gone.

James made an inhuman growling sound and buried his head between my legs. I let out a startled a shriek that quickly dissolved into a low moan as cold air washed over my wet pussy. I felt the itching burn of an orgasm explode over me just as his tongue slid into me.

He was ferocious. His fingers dug painfully into my ass cheeks as his tongue worked my clit and fucked me better than any dick ever had. I gave into it, clawing his scalp, my earlier fears forgotten as he brought me toward another climax.

"Yes," I moaned shamelessly. He started to suck on my swollen clit, making me see stars. He slid his finger into me and I went off like a fucking M-80. "FUCK ME!" I screamed, as I slammed against him and bit my lip so hard that I drew blood.

"Fuck!" It was James' turn to scream, as he let go of my hips, so fast that my ass dropped back to the mattress. His eyes were wide, but his mouth was closed. It almost looked like he was holding his breath, waiting for something. I was confused from just having gotten off, and a little pissy that he seemed to be freaking out on me.

"What?"

I leaned up, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand, as I stared at him. James seized my hand in a painful grip and pulled me upright. "Hey," I said, trying to pull away, but he wouldn't let me go. His dark eyes were fixed on my hand. Fear and cold sweat started to trickle down my spine, as his eyes darted up to my face, then back to my hand.

He dragged his tongue across my bloody hand, and while everything in my mind told me I should be disgusted, my body didn't give a shit. He practically swallowed my fingers as he sucked them into his mouth and I couldn't do anything but whimper. Even the way he did this felt fucking orgasmic.

He swirled his tongue between each finger, dragging it roughly across my skin and sucked so hard, it felt like my skin was going to come off. He'd pulled me close, his arms wrapping around me, and I slid my legs around his waist. I was so overheated and dizzy, my head was swimming.

A loud ripping sound broke me out of his spell, as I felt him pulling on the back of my corset top. As my mind caught up to what was happening, I felt another strong tug and saw my top give way with another heart-wrenching rip, sending eyelets flying.

"Shit, that cost me fifty fucking bucks," I hissed, then pulled my hand out of his mouth. I quickly grew still, as his cold gaze fixed on me. James pulled the ragged remains of my top over my head, and dropped it onto the floor. I stared at the shredded fabric and boning, then felt his hands skim up my thighs, and grab the bottom of my slip-dress. I didn't fight him as he yanked it over my head and dropped it to the floor, as well.

"Delicious," James said softly, as his cool hands smoothed over my naked breasts. His nails flicked my hard nipples, making me shudder and bite back a whimper. His palm grazed the top of my scar and I froze, as James' face seemed to change.

He traced the shape of my scar with his finger, his mouth drawn into a tight line, as the rest of his face seemed to relax. I shivered and remember the strange electricity that burned over my skin when Jacob had shifted above me. His body exploded, sending a burning sensation, like super-charged fire ants, scurrying across my skin.

"James." I said his name to stop him. I didn't want this; I wanted sex. His touch, the sudden tender look in his eyes was too close to pity. "JAMES!" I grabbed his wrist, still trying to stop his hand, and he finally looked at me. Something in his eyes seemed to shift and then I could tell he was back. His hands seized my waist and he flipped onto my stomach, like I weighed nothing at all.

"You ready, Baby?" He dragged his tongue up my spine to the base of my neck.

"Yes," I moaned. His hand slid between us and I heard the unmistakable sound of him unbuckling his belt, the low growl of his zipper opening.

He entered me in one hard thrust, making me scream in a combination of shock and satisfaction. James hissed in response, as his hips started to beat a steady rhythm against my ass. I gripped the loose sheets, digging my nails in, trying to get enough traction, and slammed back into him. He growled and tightened his grip on my hips as he rewarded me with a deep thrust that made me arch my back.

"God, yes!" I wailed. He tangled his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back and bowing my spine more. The new angle made him slide even deeper, and I started to tremble as the burn of pleasure ricochet through my body. I reached a hand back to claw at his hip, trying to drag him in more and he pulled hard on my hair. His other hand slid across my body and he pulled me upright, even as he continued to enter me, never breaking his pace.

"La Petite Mort," he breathed the words against my ear, as he moved his fingers between my legs. "Ever wondered why they call it the little death?" James hissed against my ears as his fingers raced over my clit and a wave of pleasure slammed into me.

~**~

The buzzing of my cell phone jars me out of the memory of my evening with James. I've spent all day since I ran out that flop house, sprawled across my bed, trying to erase the memory of that night and the embarrassing morning. I'm trying really hard to focus on nothing, but my phone continues to jump on my night stand. I don't want to talk with anyone, but for some inexplicable reason, I'm picking it up.

I squint at the too brightly lit screen and feel my chest tighten a little as I hit the button and press the phone to my ear.

"Duckie! What the fuck is shaking, Baby?" Jacob's voice blares through to the phone, making me smile, even as my throat starts to tighten.

"Jake..." I can't talk. If I talk, I won't be able to stop, and I cannot tell Jake about this, I just can't. I try to focus on staying calm, but my hands start to tremble.

"Bella? Hello?" Jake's voice turns from concern to frantic in a matter of seconds. He knows me too well. He knows something's wrong. I need to throw him off the trail, need to figure out a lie that will explain why I'm a fucking mess.

"Yeah, sorry, just hungover as shit," I croak, and hope that he buys it. There's silence on the other end, for a few seconds.

"Shit, Bella. What happened?" He sounds tired and I start to feel guilty, which fits right in with the embarrassment and self-loathing pretty well.

"Nothing," I sigh, hoping that if I stick to single word answers, I won't start bawling.

"Don't play games with me, Isabella Swan. Why the fuck do you sound like someone shot your fucking dog?" Jake barks through the phone, and it jolts me enough to help me recover a little.

"None of your fucking business, Jacob Black!" I shout into the phone, then immediately regret it. Silence again, so long that I wonder if my phone dropped the call.

"I'll be there in two hours." Jake's voice is calm and he hangs up before I can respond.

"FUCK!" I yell, as I throw the phone across the room.

The last thing I need right now is Jake trying to rescue me, when there isn't anything to rescue me from. I was just having a bizarrely irrational reaction to a night of amazing sex. Nothing out of the ordinary, rather textbook for me.

I get up, ignoring my stiff muscles and screaming headache. If I was going to have to tell Jacob about my embarrassing foray into slutdom, I wasn't about to do it fucking sober. I grab my purse from the floor, find an old pair of flip flops and head for the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:**

**I would like to thank MsKathy for being a fabulous beta and an even better friend. Oh yeah and CUNT! I love you babycakes.  
**

**A special thanks to my Reg, she knows why. I am drawing a heart around you right now, baby. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Fucking traffic," I sigh and suck on my bottom lip in between my teeth. There's a long line of backed up cars winding its way toward the horizon. It's been an hour and a half since I left Aberdeen. I'd left O'Connell's pawn shop like my ass was on fire, after hearing Bella sounding all fucked up on the phone. I had been making some good time. Now, I'm idling in bumper-to-bumper traffic, eyeing my temperature gauge and soaking up the Tacoma aroma.

Movement on my right catches my attention and I turn to see a lady in a shiny blue hybrid. She's got an expensive haircut, huge diamond earrings, and her pinky finger jammed up her nose.

"Classy," I mutter to myself, as Ivana slides it up to the second knuckle.

I hate these people. They're all smoke and mirrors, like this painted and perfumed pig woman in the car next to me. Apes hiding behind fancy clothes and civilized manners. I'm no great example of humanity. I'm a bum. I live out of my van and I don't always get a regular shower, but I work for a living. I won't blow sunshine up your ass and I sure as shit don't pick my fucking nose. I turn away from the picker. She looks like the type that will eat it when she's done. I just can't stomach them.

It's like Bella says: "Humanity is two meals away from eating each other and burning the bones for heat." I love that girl. She'd drunkenly rattled off that wisdom into the face of a poor taxi driver, the last time I'd visited. I'm not too sure how it was supposed to relate to the fact that we'd spent the last of our money on booze and couldn't pay. Still, it distracted him long enough for us to make a run for it.

I laugh at the memory as I shift the van into neutral and pull off my Hawaiian shirt. Bella gave it to me for my birthday a few years back. As I gently fold it, my fingers smooth over the well worn fabric and I smile. The once blood red hibiscus have faded to pink. I set it next to my gym bag on the passenger seat. My dingy wife beater quickly joins it.

I glance up to check the traffic, but nothing has changed. I pull the e-brake and start to strip off my board shorts. My naked ass presses back down into the warm seat.

"Mother fuck!"I yelp as a crack in the vinyl cuts into my ass cheek like a razor blade. I shift to avoid cutting open a new asshole as I pull a clean pair of jeans from my bag. I noticed movement in the car next to me and look up to meet the wide eyes of the nose picker.

I give her an air kiss and she looks at me in disgust. The irony just makes me groan as I flip her off. I return my attention to my bag. I struggle with my jeans, making sure the picker gets a couple of nice cock shots, and I finally get them on. I pull out a black t-shirt and pull it on as I settle back into my seat. I'll deal with shoes once I have to get out of the van. I really hate shoes, but I'll take them over the feel of cold cement beneath my feet.

I'm rather notorious for going barefoot all the time. I like to feel the earth beneath me, it just feels right, especially after the change. Billy used to say that I was part tree. My throat tightens at the thought of my old man. It's inevitable that I'd think of him as I go to see Bells. She and I are the only family we have left. She carries her pain over Charlie, like I carry mine for Billy.

It's so hard to explain to people who've never lost a parent. It leaves a vacancy inside you, like the wound left in the ground after a tree's been uprooted. I feel that absence every day. Sam couldn't understand that. Couldn't understand how anyone could love their father like that. Just cause his dad was a son of a bitch. He thought I was crazy to want to give Billy my kidney, like it was strange that I would risk myself and the pack for my father. Motherfucker had no goddamn clue.

I would have found a fucking doctor to do it. If Sam had let me, if he hadn't made me fight my own fucking friends while my father fought for his life in a cold hospital room. I know that Quill and Embry have forgiven me, but the others will never get it. Which is fine, I like my life. I live in my own little Kerouac adventure.

Reminds me I need to get that book back to Bella, she's always giving me a shit ton of reading material. Sometimes it's like being back in school. I'm just waiting for the day that she asks for a fucking book report. I wouldn't put it past her.

She's been getting strange lately, which is why I'm this close to the city this late in the season. I should be a lot further south, making my circle, but I could tell from her last couple of drunken texts that something bad was coming. Even now as I think about her voice during that last call, my neck tenses. She'd been close to crying and she didn't want to tell me. It wasn't good. If she was down about Charlie or if Renee was flossing her ass extra hard she would have pissed in my ear all day about it. This, whatever it was, had her torn up and secretive, which scared the shit out of me.

Bella attracts trouble like shit draws flies. Hell, I couldn't seem to stay away from her and I sure as shit wasn't good for her. Not by a long shot. After that night, the first and last time that never really happened, I do what I can to keep my distance. I've learned how to keep my cool, but it's a day late and a kidney short. She loves me, I know it, but she's scared all to fuck over it.

Ah, Jacob Black you are quite a piece of work. You near kill the only girl you've ever loved, but you can't bring yourself to kill the motherfucker that made you stand by like a pussy while your old man died.

A blaring horn breaks me out of my mental stewing and I put the van back into drive, as I release the e-brake. I ease forward a few yards only to stop again.

"Mother fucking titty sucker!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: MsKathy is a goddess. She not only graced my humble story with her divine beta skills, but she also breathed life into my cold dead heart. Her latest chapter of The Trip Home left me snotsobbing into my keyboard. If you are a fan of threesomes, I highly recommend that you check out her story, The Trip Home. **

**Did you know that LolaShoes, ninapolitan and tby789 are organizing a fund raiser? For more details on how YOU can help, check it out – http://www(dot)alexslemonade(dot)org/stands/19842 – replacing the (dot) with actual dots.**

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

* * *

Bella is Trouble, with a capital "t." That rhymes with "p" and that stands for… Pussy. Fuck, Edward and his goddamn horrible taste in music. If he plays anymore songs, from that fucking musical I'm going to burn his fucking piano.

I've always loved the soothing tones of his music, and enjoyed how it can salve my irritation with Edward, until now. He's been beating the keys ever since she left, pounding out his sorrow and resolve to protect her, like some damned white knight. The low keening notes give me no solace, instead they leave me sullen and restless.

"Bella." Edward sighs her name for the millionth time, his voice thick with want and heartache, and I want to scream.

I slam the front door, the ancient wood splintering at its edge from my rage. I stamp a path from the house, casting my eyes up to see chubby gray clouds crowding the sky. It will rain soon. Good. Maybe it will wash away the sickeningly sweet scent that's still clinging to my skin. Bella's scent is intoxicating. Every inhale reminds me of the soft, breathless sounds she made last night. Not to mention the low grunts and growling noises I made, like a rutting dog.

The plan had been simple: seduce little Bella, fuck her, and kill her. Once she was dead, maybe Edward would break out of the malaise he'd been wallowing in for what seemed like an eternity. I had not planned for Bella and the affect that she would have over me. I have had countless women. I have fucked and killed, despite Edward's ridiculous rules.

"Bella," I yell in frustration, as I seize a stop sign. I snap it from its base, like a dried twig, and plunge it into the windshield of a nearby truck. I stare at the absurdity of the metal sign, like a giant lollipop jutting out of the windshield, and feel nothing.

I can't even get a little satisfaction from the simple act of pointless violence. My mind is too occupied with the memory of her body. How she moved beneath me, the soft, hungry sounds she made while I tasted her, and the potent mixture of lust and fear that she wore like a perfume. I can still taste her sweet blood in my mouth, like salty electricity dancing over my tongue, and it's driving me mad.

Bella is unlike anything I've ever tasted. As I stared at the bright slash of red on her mouth all I could think of was how I wanted to tear her open like a ripe melon. Instead, I held my breath, my cock pulsing and venom filling my mouth, while I watched her wipe it away. It had been a long time since I'd felt off balance. I do not like that feeling. Even as I suckled her blood-smeared fingers, savoring each tantalizing drop of her blood, I hated myself for it. I am a walking god, not a dog to eat from her hand.

It made me furious that I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. I tore at her clothes, instead, like an impotent ass and revealed that breathtaking scar. I love how it cut across the pale perfection of her skin, marking her in a way that make my teeth itch to do the same. For a second, I could hear Edward's simpering voice in my head, speaking of her softness, her delicate body and how breakable she was in my hands. I smelled it then, under the perfume of her blood, like rotten too-sweet fruit. The smell of death.

It was that smell that ultimately stopped me from killing her and I suppose it's also what brought me here. Why I'm crouched in the corner of a crowded bar. An untouched glass of whiskey is sweating on the table in front of me, while I watch Bella perch on a bar stool. She's still wearing the flimsy slip from last night and her hair is stringy with sweat. The dirty plastic daisies on her slippers are shedding petals onto the floor as she slowly drinks away that little bit of health she has left.

I watch her, puzzled by the strength that she hides in her frail human form. Remembering that despite the stink of fear that radiated off her in thick waves, she'd kept her voice strong and challenged me at every turn. I'd taken her in a dozen different ways, only giving her a few hours of rest as I contemplated how to adjust my plans for this new, unexpected development.

I couldn't kill Bella. I accepted that fact as I watched her sleep in my bed. In all these years, as I walked among them, killed and fucked them, I have never watched them sleep. It wasn't romantic - Bella snored like a chainsaw cutting through steel, but eventually she began to talk. She didn't just talk, she spun tales that I couldn't ignore. She whispered about a boy that lived under a curse, and a girl whose father died as he sang a dirty song.

Even now, as I watch her slide a cigarette between those full lips and her heavy-lashed eyelids droop down, I want to cross the distance to run my mouth over her skin. I want to taste her and take her again.

"Hey there, pretty girl." A greasy-haired man moves up to lean toward Bella. I tense, watching him breathe in her face as she takes another sip from her martini glass. The drunken bag of meat leers at her and she flips her cigarette into his face. I smile as I swell with pride.

I am already standing when Meatbag yells and yanks on her arm. Bella's reflexes are good. She manages to cover him with her drink as he shakes her, then backhands her across the face. The sight of her head snapping to the side from the impact sends rage thundering through me. I stare at my meal as he calls Bella a bitch, while the muscle bound bouncers pulled him away. Their interference only delays my plans a little. I drop some money on the table next to my untouched drink, and slip out the backdoor.

"Hey, shitbirds!" I yell, as soon as I see him. He's joined by two friends at the head of the alley, their lumbering bodies silhouetted by the lights of the city.

"Who in the fuck are you?" Meatbag yells as he strides toward me, his friends taking up the space behind him. A delighted smile is my only response.


	8. Chapter 8

James is picking bits of gore from between his teeth with his fingernails. I wait, fighting the urge to shiver at the mess he's made, wondering how long it's going to take for him to notice me. James finally pulls his finger from his mouth and spits a bit of flesh to the ground.

"I hate it when they get stuck in there," James says with a cheery grin.

I feel a mixture of relief and frustration, as James' shinning teeth are a startling contrast to his blood-smeared face. A kill always improves his mood. I stare past him at the wet stain covering the wall behind him. Pieces of gore were leaving angry red trails in their wake as they slid to the ground. He wasn't going to charm me out of the conversation that we need to have.

"This wasn't a clean kill." I keep my voice neutral, as I flex my fingers.

"It's a big city," James sighs, heavily. He knows that he has made a mistake, though he would never admit it. He is supposed to keep his kills. So we can dispose of the evidence. We have a mass grave under the shed in the backyard, just for that purpose.

"We have rules for a reason," I say as I shake my head.

"That one, right there," James points to a clump of flesh, a small patch of dark hair is still attached to it. "He hit her."

"Bella," I gasp, anger flares within me as I close my eyes to regain control.

"Yes. You can lecture me all you want, but this was a righteous kill," James sneers as he kicks at the lump up of flesh and it splatters against the wall behind me.

I can't speak, guilt closing my throat. I couldn't protect her, but James had tried. What is happening to us?

"It's okay. She's safe." James is suddenly in front of me. His sweet breath sweeps over my face as his fingers slide across my cheek, tracing cool moist circles. I open my eyes to meet his gaze.

"For now," I reply, with strength that surprises me. James nods, grudgingly, and allows me to push his hand away.

"That ship sailed before we came along," James turns away from me and walks towards a pile of trash.

He's not making sense. I start to ask him what he means, but I'm distracted by the feel of something warm and wet on my face. I touch my cheek, where his fingers were, and my hand comes away dripping with blood.

A low rumble echoes above my head and I cast my eyes towards heaven. A cold drop strikes my forehead and I welcome it, with open arms. As the cool rain bathes my face and body, I breathe out, trying to calm the angry swarm of thoughts and emotions coursing through me. I want to get rid of weakness, which is why I'm with James. Lately, however, it seems like he's become the source of most of it.

"Bella," I sigh her name, just as something slaps my face then covers my head. I pull it off, seeing that it is a worn leather coat.

"She's going to need it," James says, as the rain runs over his face, plastering his hair to his skull, making him look strangely vulnerable.

"No. You go," I shake my head and hold the coat out toward him.

"This is on you," James says as he turns his back to me. "I killed the bad guys. Now, go get the girl," he says, with a bitter laugh. I stare at the jacket and wish that I wasn't exhilarated at the idea of seeing her again.

I wait in the rain, below the bar's neon sign, in a pool of light. The coat is tucked under my shirt, to shield it from the downpour. My hands are in my pockets. My fingers trace nervous circles on my thighs. She finally emerges from behind the heavy doors, a cigarette drooping from her lips and dark shadows, like bruises, under her eyes.

"Hey," I say loudly, to be heard over the drumming of the rain. She looks up and I see her eyes sparkle for a just a second before they narrow. Bella pulls the cigarette from her mouth and leans back a little to look at me, a frown on her beautiful lips.

"You know, there's a saying about people who aren't smart enough to come in out of the rain," Bella says in a slow, muddled slur. I can smell the alcohol, even though there are several feet of empty sidewalk between us.

"I brought you a coat," I say, pulling up my shirt to show her my gift. James' gift. She stares at it, her eyes softening, as she licks her lips. I pull the coat free and move closer, holding it out to her.

"Thanks," she mumbles, as she takes it from me and slides it on. I shrug, watching how the leather surrounds her, like a shell, and I breathe a sigh of relief. "Don't think this lets you off the hook," she says, putting the cigarette back into her mouth, and begins to walk away.

"Hey," I yell, as walk after her.

Bella looks at me as I catch up to her and match her stride. Her slippers are making a wet slapping sound on the pavement that strangely complements the dull thud on my boots. We cover several blocks in silence, until she makes a delightful squeak of excitement and turns toward the bright lights of an all night market.

A sharp, artificial chime signals our entrance and I squint at the lights. Bella's small hand snags the metal handle of a hand basket, not breaking her stride as she lifts it free from the top of the pile. She navigates the narrow aisle, with the single-minded intent of a heat seeking missile. I watch in fascination as her hand darts out at the brightly color items on the shelf, plucking boxes and bottles like ripe fruit from a tree.

"You don't have any weird allergies, do you?" she asks, as she stops to study a small can with a cartoon dog on the label. I shake my head and she lets out a dismissive huff as she sets the can back on the shelf. We move on, drifting from aisle to aisle, stopping occasionally for her to study a label or to sniff suspiciously at a bottle of shampoo.

"I always wanted to learn how to knit." She picks up a brightly colored magazine and I take the basket from her arm so she can flip through the pages. She points out a picture of an afghan, spotted with a mixture of muted shades in brown and orange. I nod, amused. As she continues to thumb through the pages, I look at the stand of various books, magazines and coloring books. I see a picture of a smiling sun and pluck the thick coloring book from the shelf. I look at the sun's chubby cheeks, his smile open and genuinely happy.

"Fuck that," Bella tosses her magazine at the shelf and turns to me. "What's that?" She pulls it from my hands before I can answer and stares at it for a second. The ghost of a smile crosses her lips and it disappears, in an instant. She doesn't say anything as she slides the book into the basket and walks back down the aisle to a display of art supplies. Bella grabs a box of colored pencils from a hook and throws them at me. I pluck them from the air and deposit them into the basket. She rewards me with a smile before she turns and continues to shop.

When we finally make it to the counter, our little basket is overflowing with items and Bella is fingering the display of chocolate bars. I dig out some crumpled bills from my pocket and hand them over as she tries on a pair of sunglasses. I nod at her, and she walks over to a large domed mirror near the entrance to get a look at herself. I motion to the clerk and he adds the cost of the glasses to the total.

Bella tries to chew off the tag from her sunglasses as we exit the store. I hand her the bags and take the glasses. I slide my fingers through the small loop of plastic and snap it free with a flex of my fingers. She takes the bags, opening one to search through the contents. I hand the glasses back to her as she exchanges them with the bags in her hands. She slides the glasses on and then puts a single-serving bag of potato chips between her teeth and opens them.

We walk side by side in the rain, while Bella eats her chips and I watch her with a smile. I don't realize that I'm leading the way, until I see the house looming in the distance.

"I hope your stove works, I'm hungry as fuck," Bella says, as she crumples up the empty cellophane bag and tosses it at me.

Bella kicks off her wet slippers as she runs toward the kitchen. I follow behind her, watching the pale skin of her feet as they slap against the dull wood of the entryway. I carefully step around her wet footprints, idly wondering if they will stain the wood. She grabs the cracked frame of the Entryway and swings herself into the kitchen. I carefully watch as she lets go of the frame to spin on her heel. Her arms stretch out as she closes her eyes, and for a second I worry that she's going to fall.

"Where are your pots?" Bella stops and looks at me, and I point to the cupboard next the stove.

Bella moves with purpose, though I can see the alcohol slowing her movements. I walk up behind her and set the plastic bags on the counter, as she crouches in front of the cupboard. She hands me a small copper pot and dented teakettle, left by the previous occupants. I walk to the sink and turn on the water to rinse the dishes off, but find myself quickly pushed aside as she takes over.

"Do you like tea?" She asks, as she starts to fill the kettle. I grunt as I turn around to lean against the counter. Bella's raises her dark eyes to look at me, and pulls her mouth tight. "Are you okay?" She says as shakes the water from her hands and leans close to me. I freeze, trying to resist the urge to move away. With one soft fingertip, she traces a line under my ear and along my chin. Her small, blood-smeared finger looms in front of my eyes and I panic.

"I think I cut myself," I mumble, as I run from the room.

I slam the door to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. A red streak is running down the side of my neck; I trace it back into my hair and feel something spongy. I pull it free and drop the pale pink lump of flesh into the sink. I turn on the water and stare at my hands. My palms are stained with a similar shade of pink and I feel a lump rise in my throat. I grab the curled sliver of dirty soap from the rim of the sink and rub it against the stains.

"What are you doing?" James pulls back the shower curtain as he sneers at me. He's stretched out in the chipped porcelain, his bare feet crossed and leaning on the pitted chrome faucet.

"Washing my hands," I say, ignoring the way he's smiling at me. I rinse the soap away and find the stains are still there. Frustrated, I give up and turn off the water. I put my palms against the slick edges of the sink, trying to calm the frantic screaming in my mind.

"I meant her." James twists and pushes himself into a standing position. "Why did you bring her here?"

"You asked me to," I spit back at him and close my eyes. I feel the weight of my damp clothes sticking to my skin, and it makes me want to tear out my hair. I straighten, pulling off my jacket and kicking off my boots.

"No, I didn't," James sighs.

"Leave me alone," I groan, as I grab the bottom of my t-shirt and yank it over my head.

"You're not strong enough for this," James whispers against my ear, as his ice-cold chest presses against my back. I try to push him off, but his arms are around my neck, holding me.

"I'm stronger than you think," I grunt, as he turns me toward the sink.

"No, you're really not," James laughs bitterly as he forces me to look in the mirror. "This isn't a fairy tale. You're not a hero and she's not getting out of this alive."

"I hate you," I spit back at him, but my will to fight is quickly fading.

"I know," he says in a hush as he presses his lips to my cheek.

* * *

"If I were a can opener, where would I be?" I mumble as I stare around the kitchen. _I'm talking to myself, that's a bad sign._ I triple check every drawer in the kitchen and wonder how cavemen opened cans of ravioli. The kettle is starting to make promising sounds, so at least I can have some tea, but I'm starving. I reach over the counter to check an old, rusty, metal box on that's sitting on the counter.

Something flutters against my hip, making me jump and slam my head into the cupboard. I take a second to breathe through the pain and a mild wave of nausea before I pull my cell phone out of the pocket of my new jacket. I flip it open as I rub the raw spot on the back of my head.

"Shit," I hiss at the pain in my head and the three missed calls from Jake. There are two voice mails, too. I punch the keys to check the voice mails first, like a big pussy, and put the phone to my ear.

"Miss Swan. This is Rachel from Dr. Price's office. We really need to talk to you about your test results-" I delete the message and close my eyes. I don't have the energy to deal with that right now.

"Bella! What in the fuck?" Jake's angry voice stings my ear and I start to bite my lip. "I'm at your place. Where the fuck are you? If you think you can shake me that easy, you're wrong. I'll find you, Swan, and you're getting a fucking Dutch oven when I do!" I press the keys to save the message, as I snort a little. He even makes me smile when he's pissed at me. I hit the buttons to call him back and it only rings once before he picks up.

"Where the fuck are you?" Jake sounds more worried than angry and guilt washes away the little bit of amusement I had been feeling.

"I'm at a friend's place." It's not technically a lie.

"Bullshit, you don't have friends." he was breathing heavily, like he was running. He was trying to find me, with his freaky bionic nose.

"Jake, calm down. I'm fine," I groan as the kettle starts to scream behind me.

"What's that?" Jake asks, sounding even edgier.

"Fuck, calm down," I yell into the phone. The last thing I need is Jake getting shot cause he shifted into a giant wolf in the middle of downtown Seattle. I turn around to get the kettle and see James standing beside the stove. He's smiling at me and I freeze.

"I'd be calm if you just told me where you are," Jake says, and takes a deep sigh. I don't know what to say. I feel trapped between Jake's frantic voice and James' red eyes.

"I...I told you, I'm fine," I stutter, as I watch James wrap his palm around the base of the kettle and lift it off the stove.

It is like something out of those cheesy horror movies. Where everything slows down as the dumbshit sorority girl realizes that the guy that she thought was her boyfriend is actually the killer. You know, right before he cuts her throat. Yeah, it's like that, except I'm dumber.

James' red eyes sparkle as I start to fit the pieces together in my brain: Pale, ice cold skin; the way he crushes the kettle in his fist like it's a paper cup, sending a jet of steaming water shooting across the kitchen; the old stories Jake told me while I was in the hospital, when he explained why he'd changed and what his kind were meant to protect his people from. I can almost hear my brain click, like the cylinders of a lock lining up into place.

"Cold ones," I whisper into the receiver, as James smiles and I hear Jake scream my name.

* * *

**A/N: Many thanks to Kimpy0464 for blessing my story with her awesome beta skills. Special thanks to Dahlia J Black for some last minute help with this chapter. **

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


	9. Chapter 9

"BELLA!" I slam my fist through the wall. I don't hear wood cracking. All I can hear is Bella's short, rapid breathing on the other line. I can hear her pulse and I fight back my fear and rage, hoping that her heart just keeps beating. Suddenly, a sharp clang of metal cuts over the line, followed by the dull slap of flesh on wood. _Footsteps_.

A low, breathy laugh comes across the receiver. It's not Bella. It's a male voice. A cold, stone-skinned piece of shit that's going to be burning before the night is over. I'm rumbling and growling through the phone as his laughter grows louder. The line goes dead.

"NO!" I scream as my hand seizes a wall stud and pulls it free from the plaster. I send it flying across Bella's small living room and it sinks two feet deep into the wall. I'm breathing hard, my heart thundering and crying for blood.

_Jake, calm down._

Bella's command comes back to me and I open my eyes. There's a small plastic cactus wearing hot pink sunglasses sitting on her coffee table. I bought it for her in Bremerton. She'd laughed herself sick when I gave it to her. She calls it Maxine, insisting it was a flamboyant cactus, hell-bent on making it big in Hollywood. I struggle to remember to sound of her laughter and the way she smiled at me that day.

She's the only thing I have left. The center of my world. I can't afford to lose her. I won't allow it. I take a deep breath and hold it. Maxine's hot pink plastic glasses watch me as I finally let out the breath in a slow stream. I can do this, I have to. I don't have a choice. I'll find her, if I have to tear apart the entire city.

* * *

I watch Bella's face wash out to a sickly gray as my fingers curl around her cell phone. It shatters with a sharp crack. She turns her head to avoid the shower of jagged shards of plastic. I grab her chin, forcing her to look at me. Her face is deceptively passive as she watches me drop what's left of her phone to the floor. I crush it beneath my bare foot, enjoying how she flinches as I grind into the linoleum.

Her eyes rise to meet mine and, for the first time, I can tell she really sees me. She's beginning to understand what she's been playing with, or at least she thinks she does.

"Who told you?" I ask, but Bella just stares at me. I know that Edward didn't tell her, he's too greedy with his secrets. That leaves only one other option. "Maybe it was Jake." I say the name that I assume, belongs to whoever or whatever was growling at me through her cell phone.

Bella's body visibly tenses, giving me the answer that her beautiful mouth won't. _Interesting. _I touch those lips, just a brief graze of my thumb over the swollen, pink flesh. The touch seems to stir her courage. She straightens as her eyes harden.

"I'm not going to play out this B movie interrogation scene," she says, as she tries to slap my hand away. "Just get it over with," her voice is calm, almost bored.

I laugh as I slide my arm around her waist and pull her into a kiss. The taste of her. It's better than I remembered; the potent undercurrent of fear seems to make it even sweeter. I immediately feel her tiny fists patter at the side of my head, and I reluctantly pull away, before she hurts herself.

"You're insane," she sputters, and pushes free of my arms.

"You have no idea," I laugh even louder. Her jaw seems to tighten. She's angry. The idea is so absurd and a little bit charming. I try to close the distance to touch her again, loving how she doesn't move even though she's trembling slightly.

"Don't play with me," Bella hisses through her teeth. I smile as I lean in close and shake my head. I gently touch her cheek, trailing my fingers down her neck and between her breasts to stop at the top of her scar. I can smell the sickness on her breath, beneath the nicotine and alcohol.

"Tick tock," I say, as I tap the ridge of scar tissue through the silk of her slip.

"Fuck you," Bella steps back from me, her eyes a little wide.

"We can do that too," I sigh as move toward her again. She backs away, trying to avoid touching me, and slams her ass against the counter.

"What do you want from me?" Bella growls, her eyes still searching for an escape route as I pin her to the counter with my hips.

"Shouldn't that be my question?" I ask with a grin as I take hold of her waist and lift her off her feet. She makes a startled cry as I drop her onto the counter. Bella is flustered, angry, and all the more beautiful for it.

"I don't want to play your fucking games," Bella says, pulling her hand back to slap me. I easily stop her, seizing her wrist and twisting them behind her back.

"And I'm tired of your games," I hiss, my breath making the stray strands of dark hair covering her eyes flutter. I lean in to capture her mouth and she turns her head to the side.

"What, you want to fuck me and then kill me, is that it?" Bella's voice is strong, despite how hard she's shaking in my grasp.

"You're half right," I breathe against her throat as I press myself against her leg to show her exactly which part she's right about. I kiss the smooth skin stretched over her collarbone. Her pulse beats against my tongue as I draw a wet line up her neck to just below her ear.

"I'm so fucking stupid," she moans, her lower body sliding along the counter to press against me.

* * *

Red and blue lights blind me as I watch the police officers tape off the alley beside the 9lb Hammer, Bella's favorite dive bar. Her scent is all around me, mingling with the thick stench of blood and death. I don't want to believe that she's in that alley.

"I bet it's another dead bum or hooker," whispers an older woman in a lime green housecoat standing next to me.

"We can only hope, Linda," another woman says in a loud, whiny voice. I ignore the crusty old bitches and try to focus on the cops talking on the other side of the street.

"The bartender says there was some kind of scuffle with a girl," a portly uniformed, cop tells a scruffy looking guy in a stained suit jacket, who I assume is a detective. "She left right afterward."

"Do we have an ID on the girl?" The detective asks, as he slides a stick of gum in his mouth.

"The bartender said she was new and that she weighed a buck ten, soaking wet," the uniformed cop sighed as he took off his hat. "There's no way she did this shit."

I relax a little. Bella isn't in there, and her buddies at the 9lb kept her out of trouble. She's got more fucking lives than a cat. I just hope that she got enough left to still be alive.

* * *

**A/N: Kimpy0464 you spoil me with your fabulous beta'ing.**

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING: This chapter contains graphic content. Including but not limited to, vomiting, bleeding and graphic violence. If anything about this disturbs or concerns you please do not read it. If you are concerned, but would like to continue. You can feel free to PM me and I will be happy to give you specifics to see if it's something you can read. **

* * *

I'm awake, not because I want to be, but because I need to throw up. I run to the bathroom as fast as I can and just barely make it. After a couple of great heaves, I stare at the bowl and remember that I never actually ate anything. Lemon drops and whiskey sours don't count as food. Oh, I had a bag of chips, which might explain the texture. I reach up and pull the knob to wash it away.

Sitting back, I notice a pile of wet clothes under my naked ass. It's like sitting on an iceberg. I grab the broken arm of the towel rack and pull myself up on shaky legs. I shuffle back to James' bedroom and search for something to wear. My slip dress is a pile of rags at the foot of the bed; James has a thing for tearing up my clothes. I spot a t-shirt on the floor that looks fairly clean. I grab it and pull it over my head, enjoying how much it smells like James. I don't see any other clothes, so I grab the bed sheet and make a kind of toga. My stomach makes a loud gurgle, reminding me that it's empty. I should at least try to eat something, I think, as I look out the cracked glass of the bedroom window.

It's still dark. I have no sense of time when I'm with James. I leave the bedroom and wander down the hall, back to the kitchen. The bags of food are scattered across the floor, along with a broken piece of the overhead cupboard. I bumped my head on it while we were fucking, so James tore if off the wall and threw it to the floor like it had hurt me on purpose. It was charming, yet really fucking frightening, but that is James in a nutshell. I spot a Snickers bar and grab it. I peel open the wrapper to take a bite. It tastes like paper and maple syrup.

I run to the sink and spit it out. I can't remember when I've eaten anything decent. Maybe a few days ago. I do better with salty food; sweet food always tastes wrong. I turn on the water and rinse out my mouth. It takes like iron and vinegar. I want to cry. I slide to the floor and press my cheek to the smooth wood of the cupboard. I'm so tired, my skin is itching like it's too tight, and I want Jacob.

My throat tightens as I remember my phone exploding into a million pieces, in James' hand. I can't call Jacob. Even if I could, what would I say? How would I explain what's happened? How could I make him understand?

I couldn't, and I wouldn't ever do that to him. I'd rather he hate me than know the truth.

I hear the hollow sound of wood cracking and look up. It's coming from somewhere beyond the kitchen. I reach up to grab the edge of the counter and rise to my feet, thankful for the distraction.

I lift the last bit of the old kitchen chair and slam it against the edge of the wood stove. It shatters into splintered pieces that scatter across the floor. It's messy, but it's the best I can do.

"What did the chair do to you?" Bella's voice is raw, making her laugh sound more like a cough. I look up to see her wearing one of my t-shirts. The pale white cotton is paper thin, hiding nothing. The bed sheet completes the look of her odd makeshift dress. She is breathtaking.

"You're cold," I say, lowering my eyes to the floor. I kneel down and begin to toss the wood into the open mouth of the rusted wood stove. The white sheet appears in my peripheral vision, sliding across the floor as Bella's dark hair comes into view.

"That's sweet of you," she says, as she picks up a jagged piece of a chair leg that I was about to grab. Our fingers touch for a second. She smells like James. I close my eyes as I pull back my hand.

I stand and walk past her to the kitchen. It only takes me a few seconds to find her lighter and the wrinkled remains of the little coloring book that she'd bought for me. I return with them and find Bella where I left her, kneeling in a pool of white cotton, like a bride at an altar. The image is potent and I have to look past her at the stove.

"I guess it was a silly thing to buy, huh?" Bella says in a quiet voice. I resist the urge to comfort her, and tear off the cover of the book. I place it beneath the pile of wood, and place a few crumpled pages in beside it. I reach in with her hot pink leopard print lighter and flick it to life with my thumb. The thin paper quickly catches fire. I feel Bella lean against my arm as I watch the book cover's chubby-cheeked, smiling sun is slowly consumed by blue flames.

"Have you eaten?" I ask, shifting away from her.

"Not hungry," Bella answers with a shake of her head as she leans back. I study her shadowed face. Something isn't right. I wonder why she seems paler than normal, why she's thinner than she was yesterday.

"How long have you lived like this?" Bella's dark eyes fix on me and I awkwardly look away.

"Here? I don't know, a few months," I answer with a shrug.

"No, I mean...like, you know," Bella says, suddenly awkward, and I realize she's asking about living with James. Then it suddenly makes sense, my confrontation with James in the bathroom, his strange uncharacteristic loss of control with those men in the alley. He's going to change her; he wants her as a companion. The realization hits me like a blow to the chest. I struggle not to show the strange mixture of pain and anger tearing me apart on the inside.

"A while," I say with another shrug. Bella huffs as she laughs and I look at her, my expression showing some of my anger. I see her shrink from me and my anger drains from me immediately.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a long time," I say, as I reach out to touch her soft cheek, and she presses her cheek into my hand. "I'm not that good with...people," I stumble over my words as I revel in the feel of her pressed against my skin.

"That makes the two of us," she says, as her lips brush my palm. A thrill passes through me from this brief contact. "I just want to know what it's like," her breath is warm against my skin, but her words remind me of why she is really here. _James. _

"Of course you're curious," I mumble and pull back my hand.

"What's wrong?" She asks, confusion and hurt returning to her voice as she stares at me.

"It's not romantic," I sneer as I turn to stare at the flames licking the inside of the wood stove. "You don't close your eyes and wake up beautiful. You go through excruciating pain and then you're..." I can't finish, my own fear choking me. I'm too weak to face what it takes to be like James and she'll discover that soon enough.

"Well, I didn't think it was going to be easy," she says, placing her warm hand on my shoulder.

"Easy," I say with a humorless laugh, withdrawing from her touch.

"What is your problem?" Bella asks as I stand.

"This is not a game," I say it in a cold, controlled voice. I begin to hate myself again, but I can't stop talking. "You are not ready," I tell her as I stare down at her. It's a lie, and a selfish one at that.

"Fuck you," Bella yells as she stands, the sheet left forgotten at her feet. "I'm more than ready and you know it," she hisses as her finger pokes my chest. She's called my bluff and I have no more will to fight. I nod and place my hand over her finger.

"Bella," I whisper, wishing I could change her mind.

"I'm afraid. I won't deny it," she shakes her head and looks down at the wood stove. Bella sighs as she kneels down and closes the door to the stove, twisting the handle to latch it closed. She stands and pulls my t-shirt over her head. I watch, transfixed.

"I don't want to die," she says as she looks down, her finger tracing the line of her scar.

"You're sure?" I sigh, defeated.

"Yes. I don't care if it makes me a stupid whore," she sneers, making my chest tighten.

"It's not like that," I say, as I grab her chin, making her to look up at me.

"Sure it is," Bella says, as a tear slips from the corner of her eye.

"No, it's not," I whisper as I smile. I touch her tear with the tip of my finger. The anguish in her eyes calls to me, pulling me in. I'm tired of fighting. I'm through with denying what I know is the truth. I close the distance, pressing my lips to hers, expecting her to slap me or fight, but she doesn't.

Bella's presses her naked body against mine. Her hot breath is in my mouth and her fingers are threading through my hair. I want to cry and scream. It feels wonderful, beyond everything I have ever imagined. I slide my hands down her back and lower her to the floor. I can feel the cool cotton sheet beneath my knuckles.

"You're astounding," I say, pulling free of her mouth for a second, to stare at her pale body. Bella laughs as she touches my cheek. I look at her bright eyes, feeling drunk and giddy. I trace her hairline with my fingers and kiss her nose. Her hands brush down my chest and I tremble at the delightful electricity that flares to life everywhere she touches my body. I begin to kiss a path across her face, down her throat, trying to claim every part of her that I can reach. Her nimble fingers quickly unfasten my jeans, and she wraps her warm hand around me.

"Bella," I gasp her name as she pulls me into her. Pleasure explodes through my body at the feel of her surrounding me, holding me, loving me. She moves against me, her eager pace leaves me overwhelmed.

"James," she moans his name as another explosion of pleasure rocks me and a sharp metallic scent makes me open my eyes. A bright crimson line tarnishes the pale beauty of Bella's face, as blood begins to pour from her nose.

* * *

"Fuck," I growl, through the night air. The damp sidewalk magnify my footsteps, with tiny splashes, as I walk towards the bright lights of the convenience store.

Edward's confused; he doesn't understand why I'm taking him to the store, but he is quiet. Edward knows that he fucked up and he is scared. I knew that his bullshit was getting too out of hand; I knew that I'd have to deal with it eventually. I just not think it would happen so soon.

I grab the handle for the glass door and yank it open. A lighthearted little chime fills the air as I step into the artificial light.

"Hi," the store clerk says looking up at me. He looks like a nice Asian kid; it's too bad he has to die.

"Hey, there," I say with a smile and walk up to the counter. I press my fingertip to the plexiglass counter, as if I'm going to ask about one items inside the case. He looks down, so predictable, and I seize the collar of his shirt. He makes a choking sound as I haul him across the counter and grab a fist full of his hair.

"He has a family!" Edward screams, and I stop. I stare at the clerk's throat, and lick my lips. "His name is Ben," he adds in protest.

"You should have thought about that before you fucked Bella," I spit at him. I sink my teeth into the warm flesh of the clerk's neck. Blood fills my mouth, dripping down my chin as I drink it in, taking large gulps. It fills the dark pit of hunger and rage inside me.

"James!" Edward screams as I drop Ben against the counter. His blood spills out across the counter and oozes onto the floor at my feet.

"No," I snarl at him, but as Edward cringes away from me, my anger fades to disappointment. "You're not ready," I sigh and walk away.

I slam the door open, shattering the glass around me. We've run out of time. I've taken care of Bella, but there's nothing I can do to protect him, not anymore.

"James, please," he calls after me, but I ignore him. It's time to let Edward pays for his mistakes.

* * *

I run back toward the house as fast as I can, one thought consuming my mind.

_Bella._

I turn corners, rushing down alleyways, praying that I'll reach her before he does. It's my fault; I should have never interfered. No matter how much I love her, I shouldn't have gotten in between them. I am a selfish fool.

"Bastard!" I hear the scream as something slams me into the side of a nearby building. Brick crumbles around me, in a red waterfall. His face is inches from mind. "Where is she?" he snarls in my face as my head start to throb. Somehow, I know his meaning. _Bella._

"I don't..." I choke under the weight of the pain in my head, like a heavy drumming, stabbing at my mind. It's like the normal pain I feel when I'm around other people, but magnified by tenfold.

"Bullshit! I can smell her on you," his hisses, his dark eyes fixed on me. I remember Bella's face as I entered her, her beautiful pale body beneath me. I remember how she moaned James' name, but I can't remember anything else.

"I don't know," I shake my head as I struggle to remember, but the pressure is too great, I can't focus.

"Where is she?" he screams in my face and something inside my mind tears open. It flows over me in a white-hot torrent of words and images.

_You-smell-like-blood-and-sex.-Did-you-fuck-her._

"_Jacob," Bella gasps his name, her face is flushed and shining, like she's been crying. Her black dress is hiked up around her waist. Her pale legs are spread wide before him. She's wet and trembling under his mouth. His tongue slides over her in long strokes, as he savors her sweet flavor_

_She-never-loved-me-enough.-How-dare-you-touch-her.-I'll-kill-you.-Hate-you.-Bella._

"_I love you, Bella," he groans, the feel of their naked skin pressing together overwhelming him. Bella's panting beneath him. He can hear her heartbeat drumming in his ears and he begins to shake. Fire eats him from the inside out, tearing him apart as his ears fill with the sound of her screaming._

_Bella.-Please-say-she's-alive.-I-am-going-to-tear-you-open-and-eat-you-from-the-inside._

"STOP!" I scream and push him away. He goes flying across the alley to smash into another building. I'm shaking as I stare at my hands. I don't understand. How did I do that?

"You son of a bitch!" he screams as he leaps into the air.

_I'll tear you apart, you fucking leech!_

I watch in horror as his body explodes to reveal a giant wolf and I think of James. Just as the wolf starts to fall, I realize that I deserve this, so I close my eyes. A loud yelp cuts through the air and I open my eyes to see the wolf collapse in front of me. His body shifts back into the man who attacked me.

"Hello, Edward," a female voice says my name and I look up to see a short, blonde vampire. Her pale skin and red eyes give her away immediately. I shake my head, because I do not know any other vampires, apart from James. Yet there's something unmistakably familiar about her.

"Jane," I say her name, though I don't know how I know it, and she smiles.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**As always, I would like to thank Kimpy0464 for being an kick-ass beta.**

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING: This chapter contains graphic content. Including but not limited to, vomiting, bleeding and graphic violence. If anything about this disturbs or concerns you please do not read it. If you are concerned, but would like to continue. You can feel free to PM me and I will be happy to give you specifics to see if it's something you can read. **

* * *

_Something so broken shouldn't be so beautiful._

The inside of my head itches as Jane stares at me, her red eyes seem to sparkle in the dim light of the street lamp. I don't know how or why I can hear her thoughts, but I dislike the intimacy of it. I look past her to watch three figures slide from out of the shadows.

"Fetch the wolf," Jane says in a bored monotone. "Caius will want a look at him."

I watch as two male vampires move to obey her, gathering the limp form of the man who'd just tried to kill me. While he was in the shape of a wolf.

_Jacob. _

That was the name that Bella had called him in my strange vision, or, rather, his memory. I could see how clearly Bella cared for him by the way she said his name. That knowledge pulls painfully at something inside my chest. What would I have done if I'd been in his place? If I had found him covered in her blood?

"Come along, Edward. Sunrise is approaching," Jane wiggles a finger at me, and turns to walk away. I push off the wall, and rush to catch up with her. Maybe she knows James and he sent her to help me.

"Where are we going?" I ask, touching her shoulder to get her attention. A weight slams against my back, sending me stumbling forward to my knees.

_Do not touch her! _

I look up to see a hulking male vampire looming over me, his red eyes burning with fury. His thoughts are as confusing as his obvious dislike of me.

"Felix," Jane says, with a giggle that sends a chill through me. "We don't have time to play," she says with a sigh.

I struggle to my feet, and quickly catch up to Jane. I follow along in silence, the hulking vampire Felix following close behind me. His anger with me is clear, though I do not understand its cause.

_Where is James?_

Jane leads the way to a brick building, its exterior is cracked and crumbling with age. Felix moves ahead of the group and opens the double doors, allowing us to enter to a large candlelit room.

"Chain the wolf," Jane says, gesturing to a dark corner of the room.

_I wonder which one I'm going to talk with this time. _

Jane's ruby eyes are watching me, her face an unreadable mask. I hear the jingling of metal and look back to see large chains being wound around Jacob's prone body. What are they doing to him? I would be thankful that they are taking care of him, but I have a feeling that these vampires intend to harm me as well.

"I think there's been a mistake," I say, as I look back at Jane, only to find her gone.

_And so it begins._

"A mistake?" She asks, her voice filled with amusement. I turn to see her sitting in a small throne-like chair a few feet away.

"Yes, I'm not who you think I am," I try to explain, but she only frowns.

"Edward," she says, with a tired sigh.

"Yes," I answer, unsure as to why she knows me, or I how I know her, for that matter.

"My Maker has sent me to destroy you," she says, crossing her legs.

"Why?" I plead.

"Edward, this is getting very tiring," Jane sighs, rolling her eyes, but continues to speak. "You killed a dear friend of my Maker." Her words make my head hurt.

"Me?" I press my hands on the side of my head and close my eyes.

"Yes," Jane snarls.

_Maybe pain will jog his memory. _

I open my eyes, but before I can ask what she means, searing pain explodes through my body. I scream as I collapse on the hard ground.

_The man's mouth is a wet "o," his pale face fixed into a look of horror. As I pull my fist from his chest, it gets stuck on a broken rib. I let him crumple and fall to the ground, his dying heart still tangled in my fingers as I put a foot on his neck._

"_Help," a voice whimpers from behind me, as I push the dead body off my hand. He falls on top of the wet heap which is all that remains of his friend._ _I turn to the curly-haired piece of shit that dared to touch her. He reeks like sweat and urine._

"_Saved the best for that last," I say as I smile._

The pain dissipates, taking the strange vision with it. I lay motionless on the floor, wondering whose mind I touched. There is something familiar about the man with the dark, curly hair, but before my mind can fix onto what it is, Jane begins to speak and it slips away.

"Carlisle," Jane says the name slowly, as I watch her from the floor. A cold dread grips me as I watch her pale lips form the name. It's like hearing a song that is strangely familiar, but far more terrifying.

"Who?" I ask, and her placid features transform into a mask of rage. Her body becomes a blur as she closes the distance between us in a second.

"Carlisle Cullen," she screams as she closes the distance between us in a second.

_Best of us all. Aro grieves for him, still. He never smiles, not since the day that Demitri delivered the news and was torn into shreds for it._

I pull back, closing my eyes again. I'm suddenly scared, not of Jane, but of that name.

_I don't know how you share the same skin with him._

The pain returns, burning through me, riding my body like electricity. I flail helplessly beneath its power. I want this; I welcome it. I prefer the pain to her words.

"You're a fucking coward," James hisses at me. I open my eyes. The pain is suddenly gone, as are Jane and the warehouse. We're in my room. My piano is just a few feet away. I want to touch it, but James is leaning on it.

"James," I sigh in relief as I take in the sight of him.

"Here I come to save the day," he grumbles as his slides his fingers over the keys. Sharp, off-key notes fill the air, making me uneasy.

"I don't understand," I plead; my mind buzzing with a million questions. How did I get here? Where has he been? How does Jane know me?

"Don't you get sick of saying that?" James yells, as his fist smashes through the keyboard. The ivory and wood explode, raining debris over both of us.

_Ice-cold water flows over my hands as I lift my arms. The light shower of water cascades over my head and face, like freezing fingers sliding over my skin. I can still smell her, like she's under my skin. Bella._

"Stop it," I groan and shake my head, trying to push away what has to be his memory. James turns his dark gaze toward me.

"Stop what?" he sneers.

_Thump. _

He stomps his foot against the floor.

"_You seem different tonight," Bella smiles, as smoke snakes out of the corner of her mouth. _

"_I am different," I say, as I take hold of her waist and lift her onto the folding table. "I'm dangerous," I whisper against the tender, warm skin of her neck._

"_That's just what I'm looking for," she moans as her legs wrap around my waist. I dig my fingers into her pliant skin and pivot, slamming her back into the wall of the laundromat._

"Why are you doing this?" I shake my head and avoid his angry gaze. I don't want to see him with Bella. Why is he making me see this?

_Thump. _

He stomps again and it's like I can feel it inside my chest. "You're hurting me."

"You," James laughs bitterly. "It's always about you, isn't it?" he growls. I don't understand his anger or why he's doing this to me.

_Thump._

He slams the floor again. It's the same sound that he makes when he's in the basement. When he wants me to play piano, except this hurts.

"Please stop," I gasp.

"Edward," James' voice sends a searing pain spiking through my mind.

"Please," I whisper. The sound is like someone's beating on the inside of my brain.

"We don't have a basement," James' voice is low and sad as he moves towards me.

"That doesn't make sense," I shrink away from him.

_Thump. Thump._

"_I'm broken," Bella mumbles sleepily, as I pull the thin sheet over her frail body._

"_You're dreaming," I say, brushing a clump of hair from her beautiful face, just as she grimaces._

"_I'm dying," she sobs in her sleep._

I cradle my head, trying to block out the visions.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

"No!" James stomps the ground in front of me. "No more running, you will face this!" he yells.

It's drumming against my head, making my vision blur as the world around me shakes.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. _

_CRACK!_

_I awake from the pain to see a beautiful face smiling down at me. It's like I've never truly seen him before._

"_Dr. Cullen," my voice sounds strange to me._

"_Please, call me Carlisle." His voice sounds musical. _

"_What happened?" I ask, as I now realize that my voice sounds like his._

"_I've given you a new life," Carlisle sighs as he gently runs his hand over my forehead. I've never felt anything so wonderful in my life. "I just hope that you will forgive me for it." _

"I don't understand! What is that?" I scream. My skull feels like it is swelling, threatening to split open.

"It's the truth, Edward, and I can't protect you from it anymore." James looks almost sad as he touches his fingertips to my temple. Pain sears through me, in ever-increasing waves, threatening to tear me apart.

"_It burns," I gasp past the waves of throat-burning hunger. _

"_I know. You have to try, Edward," Carlisle says, as holds me in an iron grip._

"_It hurts!" I scream as I writhe; the hunger is clawing at me, twisting my body on itself._

"_I know, I'm so sorry," Carlisle presses hard lips to my temple._

"No!" I back away from James. "That was you, not me," I screech, as I crawl away from him like a frightened cockroach, but James is faster. He's always been faster.

"It was you, Edward." His sweet breath washes over my face and I'm compelled to open my eyes. "It's always been you." James' eyes are deep, black pools of sorrow. He traps my face in his hands as he presses his lips to my forehead.

"NO!" I scream.

"_She was a child Carlisle, A CHILD!" I shout, the hunger still scorching my throat. _

_The charred remains of the frail girl that I had ripped apart sizzle in the fire a few feet away. I tried to be strong and I failed. Carlisle set what was left of her body ablaze in the corner of the dark meadow, where he found me crying over my own horrific nature. The stench of cooking flesh surrounds me. My mouth fills with venom, and I hate myself even more. _

"_This is just a setback." Carlisle places his hands on either side of my face. "It takes time, Edward," his voice is thick with emotion. _

"_I'm not strong enough," I say, closing my eyes._

"_You will be," Carlisle whispers, and I feel his breath against my face. "Over time you will gain control," he tries to reassure me as I shake my head. _

"_Look at what I did," I sob, and gesture toward the fire._

"_I will always love you, nothing will ever change that," he smiles at me, and presses his lips against my forehead, but his loving words hold no comfort for me. It only solidifies the chilling truth._

_I would never be strong enough. This scene would replay till the end of time. Carlisle loved me too much to kill me, and I am too much of coward to take my own life. I would be a monster forever._

_I couldn't stand it. The rage surges through me, mixing with the power of my body, and I lash out. Carlisle doesn't fight. He loves me too much. He lets me, his newborn son, tear him apart, and doesn't raise a finger to stop me. Like a frightened child, I cast the broken parts of his body into the fire, the same one he created for the child. That's what I was, a child, no more than a year old, surging with power and rage._

_I watch Carlisle burn as spicy perfumed smoke wash over me, and a thin wisp of a memory teases my mind. I hear distant voices whisper of the weight of sin, death and rebirth. I wish that I could forget it all._

"That's where he, the real James found you," James stood over me, his face cold and passive. "You were crazy from guilt and starving."

_This creature, James, lives free of regret and guilt. He doesn't doubt his existence; he drinks in life with all the same greed and gusto that he employs to drink the blood of his victims. I want that freedom, yet I can't let go of my pain or regret. The solution is as simple as it is insane, but it's the only chance I have at redemption. _

_His face is distorted by pain and anger, as I twist his head to the side. My ears fill with the piercing screech of his tearing flesh, as my mind tears itself in two. _

"You took what you needed from James' mind to make this little fantasy," he waves his hands over himself, a look of disgust on his face. "So you could protect yourself from the truth." He turns away from me.

"No," I cry, as I fall to my knees, wishing his words were a lie.

"Keep wishing, Edward," James growls. "I'm the monster. Right?" He laughs bitterly.

"Yes," I whimper. "I could never do that."

"No! You do not get to do that!" James charges toward me. "He deserves the truth!"

"Please," I beg, and cringe at his feet.

"You hated him, and you killed him for it."

"I didn't hate him," I shake my head, not able to meet his gaze. I know that I loved Carlisle; I feel it deep inside of me. He was my Maker, my friend, and my father.

"Our father," James whispers, as he kneels in front of me. I raise my eyes to look at James, and for a second I see kinship and sympathy. I reach out to touch him, hoping to feel that connection, only to see it disappear as he pulls away. "You, play your little game of make-believe. Pretend that we're companions, so you can be innocent and clean. Ha! Like I would ever choose you. I HATE you!"

"James," I plead, but he turns his cold black eyes on me and shakes his head.

"He was the only one who's ever loved me," he slams, his foot into the ground before me, and my head throbs. "And you killed him for it," James sneers at me.

"I'm sorry," I whimper, as I tuck my head into my chest.

I blink through the haze of unconsciousness and try to focus, as I hear the sounds of someone crying.

"It's too late for apologies," I hear a female voice sneer.

* * *

I try to shake my head, but the weight of the chains hinders my movement. I manage to shift my head enough to see that we're inside an old brick warehouse, lit by candles. The walls and furniture are draped with dark cloth, like some lame goth club.

There are only six leeches, counting the small, blonde leech, with blazing red eyes. She's the only female, so I assume she must have spoke. The piece of shit that I was two seconds from killing in the alley, is curled at her feet. He's crying softly, and all I can think is: _Thank god it's not me. _

"You are pathetic." Her pale skin pulls back from her even whiter teeth and I shiver.

"Yes," the sniveling leech at her feet whines. "I know." He stiffens and uncurls himself. His entire demeanor seems to change, as he stretches out on his back and places his hands behind his head.

"James," the girl whispers as she steps back, visibly shaken.

"Did you miss me, Baby?" James smirks. The shaky, whimpering pile of shit that had been in the fetal position a moment ago, is gone. This vampire, James, is a completely different animal.

_What kind of schizo shit is this?_

I chuckle and shake my head. James tilts his head in my direction, his eyes fixing on me for split second, and he winks.

_Well, aren't we a cool motherfucker?_

"Show respect," six feet of angry blood sucker yells at James, who only tilts his head back to look at his attacker.

"Felix," the female raises her hand, and the male halts.

"You tell him, Baby," James says with a smirk, and he puckers his lips at Felix.

"I will kill you, you sick freak!" Felix growls, but doesn't move.

"Enough!" the female hisses as she stares at James.

"Jane, you kinky bitch!" James screams as his body tenses. He starts to shake, like he's having a seizure.

I watch James' body dance as the memory of the pain that knocked me unconscious sparks back to life in my mind. I can't stop the shudder that passes through me. I sense the two vampires standing next to me tense as Jane stares at her victim, a look of crazed glee blooming on her face.

"Jane," Felix's deep voice draws her eyes up and James stops moving. "Aro wants him whole," he speaks in a gentle tone. I feel the leeches next to me flinch as Jane stares at Felix, but he doesn't fall or even move. His eyes seem to soften as she presses her lips together in a grimace. She turns her back to him and strides back to her chair.

* * *

"_Shit," Bella chokes as the blood flows from her nose over her mouth. A fire crawls up the back of my throat, and overtakes me. My teeth are sink into her throat, her pulse drums against my tongue as a salty spray splashes against the back of my mouth. I groan as my mouth overflows and her blood pours over my lips._

"Bella," I whisper her name as the memory of Bella's last moments stings me.

"We don't have time for this, Edward." James groans.

"We killed her," I scream.

"Killed her?" James laughs. "Why would we kill Bella? She's not dead, you ass!"

* * *

"Bella's alive?" He whispers, his eyes open wide. I'm not sure which one's talking, Edward or James.

His words jump-start my heart. Bella's alive and still out there, somewhere. I need to get to her, need to help her. I shift in the chains, my muscles coil, readying for action.

_Alive! She's alive?_

"Edward," Jane sighs, sounding disappointed.

"Yes," Edward says, turning his head, his amber eyes fixing on me. I stare back at him, unsure if he's answering Jane, or my unspoken question.

_Where is she? Where's Bella?_

"What are you talking about now?" Jane groans.

"I don't know," he answers, his eyes still fixed on me.

"Maybe we should play with your furry friend," Jane looks at me and the pain slaps me down. I fight to hold back my scream as it tears through me.

"NO!" I hear someone yell and the pain fades.

I open my eyes and see Jane smile as she turns to Edward. He begins to stand, his eyes still fixed on me. His expression shifts, as does his posture, and even the color of his eyes. A chill runs through me as I watch them bleed from amber to black.

"James," Jane sighs as she touches his cheek.

"James!" A familiar female voice screams from behind me, making every head turn.

"Bella, Baby," James says with a laugh. "I thought you'd never get here."

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Kimpy0464 there really is no way I can EVER repay you for being an wonderful, talented, flexible and tolerant beta. **

**Special thanks for Dahlia J Black and my Reg, for supporting and humoring me through this process. **

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


	12. Chapter 12

**WARNING: This chapter contains graphic content. If anything about this disturbs or concerns you please do not read it. If you are concerned, but would like to continue. You can feel free to PM me and I will be happy to give you specifics to see if it's something you can read.

* * *

**

_"…Lethargy, weakness, increased blood pressure, your skin will start to itch, it will be increasingly difficult to urinate, and your urine will change color. Food will start to taste funny, and you will begin to lose your appetite…" his voice drones on. It sounds like a grocery list. All the warning signs that will tell me when my remaining kidney is going to give out. The doctor looks appropriately sympathetic as he talks about special diets and follow-up exams. He tells me that I have a chance to make it, that all I have to do is be careful and be closely monitored. It's a lie. I'm going to die of renal failure without a kidney transplant._

_I've been through this song and dance before. When the cancer reached my dad's liver, nice doctors, like this one, fed him the same line. They strung him along with treatments and false promises of the magical transplant that would make everything better. Except, that like me, dad had one of the rarest blood types, AB Rh negative. Only about one percent of the population has it. The chances of finding a viable transplant for me is too depressing to even measure. Which means I'm going to die._

_"Bella, do you understand what I'm telling you?" The doctor's concerned face fills my view. I swallow despite my papery tongue._

_"Yes," I struggle to nod through the dull nausea._

_"Now, it's very important to come in immediately if your symptoms increase in their severity, or you start to see bruise easily or get sudden nose bleeds, experience muscle twitches, difficulty breathing or headaches." He looks serious as he continued to lecture me about, transplants, waiting lists, and dialysis, but I wasn't listening. The door to my hospital room creaked open and all I could focus on was Jacob's tear-streaked face._

_"Bella," Jake's voice is shaky._

_"I'm sorry, sir," the doctor states as he turns toward Jake and I felt like screaming._

_"Let him in," I croak as I try to sit up. Pain shoots through me and Jake is suddenly at my side, catching me, and gingerly lays me back down against my pillow. He is so warm my hands started to sweat just from touching him. Jake feels real, solid, and I need that now, more than ever._

_"I think we need to give Bella some time to rest." The doctor's voice takes on an authoritative tone that makes me want to throw something at him._

_"I think you need to leave," I say, as I stare at the doctor. I try to look at him that same way my old man used to stare down people when he was on the job. It doesn't work. The doctor sighs and tries to speak again. "Get the fuck out, NOW!" I lift a shaky hand and point at the door. He mumbles something about visiting hours ending soon as he leaves._

_"Bella," Jake says with a half-hearted laugh. "He's right, I should go. You look like shit." His warm hands slide up my neck to cup my face as he kisses my forehead._

_"No," I struggle to grip his meaty wrist with my weak, tiny hands. "I need you here." I look into his soft brown eyes, as I touch his cheek. He looks older, harder, as his eyes look away. The last time I saw Jake he was screaming as his skin exploded, into fur and a piercing howl filled my ears._

_That night, after dad's funeral, I'd given Jake a ride back to his house. We were parked in his small gravel driveway, and talking about nothing in particular. He made his usual jokes and I tried to laugh, but it wasn't the same. I couldn't stop thinking about the empty house that awaited me. When Jake leaned in to kiss my cheek, I thought about how he could have been the one in the casket, and the fear of losing him suddenly overwhelmed me._

_I've always known that Jake loved me. I had ignored it, until that night, for reasons that made no sense after Charlie died; I had no real family left. As I stared at Jake in the shadowy interior of my car, after the funeral, all I could think about was how many years I had wasted, because of my selfish fear of losing our friendship. That's why I kissed him. I was desperate to smother the loneliness that was eating me alive. When I felt his mouth open beneath mine, it felt so right, and it scared the shit out of me. It was at that moment that I realized that I loved him, too._

_"I can't explain what happened. Not right now," he sighs, and sits on the edge of my bed. "I can tell you that I'm sorry and that it will never happen again." Jake looks at me again, the intensity in his eyes is clear. I try to smile, despite the smothering pain in my chest._

_"So, you don't find the whole one kidney thing sexy?" I say in a horse voice grumble and Jake gives a surprised bark of a laugh._

_"Bella," he sighs my name as he leans in to me. "Fuck, I just can't lose you," his voice cracks as he presses his lips against my forehead._

_I closed my eyes and soak up his heat. He blames himself and I know it isn't really his fault. Whatever the explanation of his strange transformation, I know that Jake would never hurt me on purpose. If he ever found out that what occur would eventually cause my death, he could never be able to live with it. I want Jake alive. I want him happy, and that isn't going to happen if he's with me, especially now._

_"You cry like a girl," I say, as I lean back._

_Jake laughs and swipes his hand across his face. He is smiling, but I can still see the pain in his eyes, and it makes my decision final. Jake can never know. I will try my best to end my life in some other way, to cover up one illness with another, or just make all the wrong choices. I let out a long, slow breath as my decision becomes final. Jake stares at me; he knows me too well._

_"Are you okay?" He asks, then rolls his eyes at himself. "I mean, is there anything I can do or get for you?"_

_"Sure," I say with a smile. "I could use a cigarette."_

_"Bella," he says with a laugh. "You don't smoke."_

The pain starts to wane, and quickly fades away, until I'm left with a vague feeling of loss.

I flex my fingers against the smooth wood floor as I open my eyes. I'm entranced by thousands of tiny rainbows that are dancing across the ceiling and walls of the room. I stand, even before it occurs to me that I want to. There's a window in front of me. I can see the tip of the sun as it peeks over the rooftops of the horizon. As sunlight is streaming through the smudged glass, bathing the room in a warm gold, and I notice that my skin is sparkling. There's something familiar about it.

"_Their skin is hard as marble and it glitters in the sunlight," he sighs, as he holds my hand. He looks tired as he closes his warm brown eyes and continues to speak. "That's why they were in La Push, the lack of direct sunlight, allows them to hide in plain sight."_

The memory slips away as quickly as it arrived. I wonder about the beautiful brown-eyed man in my vision, and I feel a strong sense of connection stir inside me. _Jacob._

That name seems as familiar as the face. It's strange that I can't remember more, such as why I'm standing in a dirty room, and why I'm naked.

"_Bella, Baby, I need you to focus," he screams in my face, blood covering his mouth. I close my eyes against the throbbing pain from his bite. "No! Open your eyes! Bella!" he yells as he shakes me. _

_I struggle to do as he asks, and finally pry my eyes back open. His mouth is a hard line as he stares at me with his black eyes. _

"_James," I strain to speak as the pain takes shape and starts to burn. I jerk and my muscles begin to tense, but he holds me._

"_Yes. Remember me, Bella. Remember and find me," he says it with such conviction as he kisses my forehead._

The memory is hazy, but it seems so important. I notice a blood-splattered sheet at my feet; it seems familiar, but the smell is of greater significance to me. I pick it up and press it to my face, inhaling the scent.

_James._

"I'm coming," I whisper as punch my fist through the glass of the window and walk into the sunlit backyard.

* * *

"Who is this?" Jane says as she grabs a smiling James by the throat and lifts him off his feet.

"Who am I? Who the fuck are you?" Bella screams as stomps across the cement floor, her is as pale as ivory and her red eyes glisten as she glare at Jane. She's one of them, there's no mistaking it. Bella would look ridiculous wearing blood-stained sheet like a makeshift toga, if she didn't look so frightening.

"Bella!" I yell her name, my relief mingling with fear. Why did she do this? She turns her head to look at me and suddenly stops.

"Jake," her voice is beautiful. Her face lights up as if she's seeing me for the first time. I can't help but smile at her as I struggle to move under the weight of the chains, and I see her face fall. "What did you do to him?" Bella growls at the leeches guarding me, just as Felix appears behind her.

"NO!" I scream, as Felix slams his fist into the back of her head and sends her crashing to the floor. I feel the impact vibrate over the ground beneath me and I explode out of my skin, shattering most of the chains. I howl and strain at the remaining chains, holding me down.

* * *

"Who is she, James?" Jane hisses at me, but I don't bother to answer. I'm too busy staring at the wolf. He's flexing and shifting in the chains as he watches Felix lift Bella up by her hair.

_He wants to fight. He wants to kill them all._

I see Jacob's brown eyes turn to me. I stare right back and nod. I need him to understand that I'm with Bella. I need him to know that we're on the same side, at least for now. The wolf's giant head tilts to the side. I hope that this means that he's with me, and that he understands. His head dips down toward the floor and rises back up.

_He understands and agrees._

That's good enough for me. You got to love it when a plan comes together.

_You planned this?_

I groan a little. It's hard enough to have Edward awake while I'm steering the boat, but having to listen to him question my every move is annoying.

"Answer me," Jane shakes me a little.

_She's jealous of Bella._

I wish he wouldn't waste time telling me things that I already know.

"She's just a piece of ass," I choke out around her grip on my throat. "She means nothing to me, Baby." It's a bluff and as Jane's grip loosens, I know it worked.

"What?" Bella's voice echos through the room.

_What are you doing?_

"Oh, James," Jane says, as she looks at Bella and then back to me. "Your standards have lowered quite a bit, haven't they?" She laughs as she sets me on my feet. I smirk back.

"You son of a bitch," Bella growls. I turn in time to see her twist in Felix's grip. I forget how fast newborns can move and, apparently, so does Felix. He looks surprised as the heel of her hand collides with his chin. I chuckle a little as I watch him go flying backward.

"That was a mistake," Jane says as she looks at Bella. I tense, knowing that no one's ever been strong enough to fight the effects of Jane's power. I begin say something to distract her, when Edward stops me.

_It's not working._

Before I have to ask, I understand his meaning. Bella's meets Jane's gaze as she walks toward us. I look at Jane, who looks confused, like she's struggling to breathe underwater.

_Jane is terrified._

Interesting. I don't have time to wonder about this little bit of serendipity. The Volturi that were guarding Jacob are move to intercept Bella.

"Bella, behind you!" I yell as I run at them.

She turns around to face them, and I slip past her, slamming into the chest of the first one. He flies backward, and I turn to face the next one. He hits me hard and we tumble to the floor. I shift our weight and throw him through the doors of the warehouse.

_Jacob._

I turn and see Jacob just a foot away and rush over to free him. His muzzle and back legs are tangled in thick chains. I reach out and grab a hold of them, as someone seizes me by the throat. I snap the chains just as Felix slams me down into the floor.

_He wants to kill you._

Thank you, Edward. I hadn't quite figured that out, yet.

* * *

I shake the chains free as Felix smashes James into the floor. He sinks down several feet deep, cracking the cement around him. I poise to launch myself at Felix as he lifts his fist to strike James.

"Felix!" Jane's strangled cry draws Felix's attention away. James smiles and throws the larger vampire over his head. Someone hits me from behind and I fly away, tumbling. I land on my feet in time to see the vampire who attacked me looking shocked as his head is ripped free of his body.

"Get your head in the game," James hisses, his white teeth shine with menace as he tosses the head at my feet. I snort at him, though he actually made a good point, and I spot the other vampire closing in on us.

_I got this one._

James nods and moves out of the way. I charge at the vampire with my mouth open and catch him by the neck. I clamp down on his throat and hear a satisfying screech as my teeth sink into his flesh. My front paw digs into his chest as my teeth pull at his neck, and I hear a sharp snap as his head tears free.

"James, you son of a bitch!" Bella's voice rings in my ears as I drop the leech's head.

"Felix!" Jane cries as she squirms like a frightened insect. Bella grasps her by the throat as she stares at James, who looks like a cheating boyfriend that's just been caught with his dick in another woman. I snort. I know what that particular look on Bella's face means.

_Poor bastard._

"Bella, Baby, calm down," James says with a smile. He glances at me, bobbing his head toward the other side of Bella. I follow his gesture and see Felix closing in fast. I break into a flat out run to meet him.

"Bullshit," Bella screams. "I'm just a piece of ass, right?" She smacks Jane's head against the wall for emphasis.

_I think Bella is very angry._

Edward's voice is a whisper, which just emphasizes the absurdity of this situation. No one else can hear him. Though something he says catches my attention. He said "think." Edward answers before I ask.

_I can't hear her thoughts._

This just gets more interesting by the minute.

"Why did you leave me?" Bella's eyes are a deep crimson as she stares at me, and I realize that she's hurt. I hadn't really thought that things between Bella and I would go this far. I knew she'd be strong and that she needed the change as much as I needed an ally, but her pain is touching something within me.

_It's called love._

I really hate it when he's right.

"It doesn't matter," I sigh as I step toward her, my arms raised in surrender. "I'm here now."

"James," Jane chokes around Bella's grip. I ignore her as I stare at Bella's dark eyes.

_James...say it._

For the first time in our life I feel weak, and it paralyzes me. I planned out every step, every move. I even compensated for the wolf and Edward falling for Bella, but this...I don't know. This strange new feeling unbalances me. Edward's presence surges forward to catch me. His strength, as he holds me, is as comforting as it is surprising.

_Funny, that this would be the one thing that you can't handle._

He's smug, but he's earned the right. I surrender and let him take over.

* * *

"Bella," Edward says her name like it's a prayer. "I love you and I will never leave you again." He sounds so sure as he says the words that I'm too weak to speak aloud.

"Edward, you pathetic -" Jane's snarl is cut short as Bella tightens her grip and yanks her head off.

"JANE!" Felix screams her name, as his arms wind around my chest and squeeze me.. I can't breathe, but I struggle anyway. I bite and claw the air as Felix continues to crush me. I feel something pop and crunch.

"Let go of him," Bella's voice rings out as my vision starts to go fuzzy.

"Felix, please stop!" Edward shouts next to me, as I struggle to breathe. "It's over, let him go!"

I feel the pressure from his arms increase and suddenly I feel as much as hear a wet crack. An eruption of pain spreads from my chest and pulls me into blackness.

"Jake!"

* * *

As Jake shrinks into his human skin and sags in Felix's arms, I force Edward out of control of our body and punch Felix in the face.

"Bella!" I scream to get her attention, and she moves to pull at Felix's arm.

"I will kill what you love," Felix mumbles, as I continue to punch him; I hear a sharp snap and Felix's smug look disappears as he screams in pain.

I do my best to restrain him as Bella gingerly takes Jake in her arms and sets him down on the ground. Felix roars as I tighten my hold.

"I will kill you all," Felix yells, and he crawls at my arm.

"Bella, a little help here, please," I yelp as he grabs my head and yanks me free. I flip in midair and crash to the floor.

"Sorry," I hear Bella say as she leaps over me and smashes into Felix. I jump up to join her, as she wrestles with him. I grab one of his arms as Bella loops her arm around his chest.

"Make a wish, Baby," I say as I wink at Bella. She smiles and shakes her head, as as we begin to simultaneously pull on opposite sides of Felix. His scream of pain is overtaken by the screech of his tearing flesh. I hear a snap right before I pull his arm free, and causing me to tumble across the floor.

* * *

Every breath comes with a searing, scorching pain. I take it anyway, because I can hear her voice.

"Jake," Bella says my name in a choked gasp.

I open my eyes, despite the pain, and focus on her face.

"Bella," I sigh and touch the cold, hard skin of her cheek.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me," she chokes as she presses her face into my palm.

"You're beautiful," I whisper; every syllable hurts, but the pain is worth the smile that she's gives me.

"You look like shit," she says, as her cold hands slide around my face. I close my eyes as she touches me. I can smell sex and blood mixing with her new scent. It's not too unpleasant; in fact, it's making me uncomfortably hard.

"Jacob Black, are you blushing?" Bella says with a laugh. I laugh back and pain pounds through me.

"Shut up and give the Big Bad Wolf a kiss," I try to smirk as I pull at the sheet wrapped around her chest. She laughs and leans in to me. Her hard lips press against mine and I groan. It's so different and fucking amazing. Her tongue slides past my teeth and I inhale so sharply that the pain cutting through my chest nearly makes me black out.

"Jake," Bella's lips murmur against mine, as her arms slide around me and squeeze. I moan as her body presses into me, sending a mixture of pleasure and pain fluttering through me.

"Bella," James' voice cuts into my hazy thoughts as the pain recedes. "You're too strong, you're going to hurt him." I open my eyes and see him standing over her, his hands on her shoulders.

_Ah, but what a way to go._

James starts to laugh and I try to resist the urge to join him as Bella reluctantly pulls back.

"Jacob, you're a man after my own heart," James smiles at me as Bella laughs.

* * *

"I cannot believe that you slept with her," Bella groans as she stares out the window.

"I did not sleep with her," Edward grumbles as he cradles his head in his hands.

"Of course you're going to say that now," Bella scowls as she shifts in her seat, her feet pressing into the dashboard and I hear the plastic crack under the pressure.

"Hey, careful with the van," I bark and she looks guilty as she drops her feet to the floor.

"James," Edward sighs as Bella shakes her head, and I glance at him. I watch, still a little in awe as Edward disappears and James takes over. I shake my head, trying to get rid of the chills that watching his change produces in me still, and turn my eye back to the road.

"Hey, kids," James says with a clap of his hands. "What's shaking?"

"You slept with her," Bella growls.

"I am not having this conversation again," he groans. It's strange that his scent is stronger.

_It smells like a Buddhist whorehouse in here._

I think as I grab the window's handle.

"You know, I have a funny story about a Buddhist slut," James says and I can't help but laugh.

"I hate it when you two do that," Bella growls and I immediately stifle my laughter.

"Hey, it's not my fault. I was just thinking," I raise one hand, keeping the other on the steering wheel and try to look as guiltless as I can manage.

"No, really, she was supposedly a vegan, but she sure liked to eat sausage, if you know what I mean," James continues talking, ignoring Bella.

"SHUT UP!" Bella said as she backhands James across the face. He goes flies toward the back of the van. The impact shifts the van hard and I nearly loose control of van.

"HEY!" I yell, as I quickly compensate to keep us from running off the road.

"I'm sorry, but he's such a pain in the ass sometimes," Bella says with a frustrated groan.

"I'm not the one fucking him," I says, as give her a sideways glance. Her luscious bottom lip is pushed out in a pout and I turn my eyes back to the road.

"Yet," James says from the back of the van and laughs.

"Shut up!" Both Bella and I yell at the same time.

* * *

**Author's note: I have posted an extended Author's notes at my Live Journal and opened the post up for comments, questions and general flailing. Here is the link for the **

**http:/einfach-mich(dot)livejournal(dot)com/55605(dot)html – replacing the (dot) with actual dots. I will also put a link on my profile page. **

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


	13. Epilogue

"NO!" Alec screams.

"Felix too?" Aro asks, a frown cutting across his face as I nod.

"It was the inevitable outcome of our dear Jane's death," Marcus says with a bored look.

"What about the rogue; did he at least die?" Caius snaps, and I feel rage swell over me.

"No! He lives still!" I reply in a roiling snarl. As I realize what I've done, I turn to my husband. "Jasper, control yourself!"

"Sorry," Jasper tries to look composed as he holds a trembling hysterical Alec in his arms. I understand his anger, but I will not allow him to lose focus. Not now.

"I apologize." I bow my head toward Caius who gives me a dismissive wave. "I should have seen this possibility sooner."

"Alice," Aro waves me closer and continues to speak. "My dear child, do not blame yourself."

I walk across the marble floor and take a seat at his feet. He smiles down at me as he slides his knuckles over my cheek.

_My weakness cost Jane and Felix their lives._

"No," Aro says in a mock scolding tone. "This creatures is far too unpredictable for your gift to properly read his intentions. He does not truly know them himself."

I nod as he pulls his hand away and slumps in his chair, the grief once again taking hold of him. As I watch his face darken, I make a silent decision to hunt down this despicable creature. I glance at Jasper. He's sunk to the floor with Alec, his face a closed mask of concentration. Jasper cares a great deal for the twins, as his gift allows him to feel the pain that lingers within them. The tortures and horrors that they endured at the hands of humans, before their change, have left a deep mark on them.

I should feel this grief, but all I feel is hate for the creature that shattered my Maker's heart, first by killing his love, and now by killing my brother and sister. Jasper raises his head to meet my gaze. I know that he can feel my rage, and he gives me a nod of acknowledgment. No matter what I decide I know that he is with me.

* * *

**Author's note: I have posted an extended Author's notes at my Live Journal and opened the post up for comments, questions and general flailing. Here is the link for the **

**http:/einfach-mich(dot)livejournal(dot)com/55605(dot)html – replacing the (dot) with actual dots. I will also put a link on my profile page.**

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**


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